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«. . 




JUDSON TRAINING MANUALS 

FOR THE SCHOOL OF THE CHURCH 


EDITED BY 

W. EDWARD RAFFETY, Ph. D. 

HENRY EDWARD TRALLE, Th. D. 
WILLIAM E. CHALMERS, D. D. 






M O T H E R S’ 
PROBLEMS 


A TEXT-BOOK FOR PARENTS’ CLASSES, 
MOTHERS’ ASSOCIATIONS, AND TEACHERS 
OF CHILDREN 


By 

HARRIET BAILEY CLARK, M. D. 


INTRODUCTION BY 
FRANK L. BROWN, LL. D„ 

Secretary of the 

World’s Sunday School Aa§ociation 


PHILADELPHIA 

THE JUDSON PRESS 

BOSTON CHICAGO ST. LOUIS LOS ANGELES 

KANSAS CITY SEATTLE TORONTO 




COPYRIGHT, 1922, BY 

GILBERT N. BRINK, Secretary 


4 «■ 

Mi 26 1922 


Printed in U. S. A. ‘ 

©CI.A674447 




[ 


THIS BOOK IS 

DEDICATED 

TO THE 

NATIONAL CONGRESS OF MOTHERS 

AND 

PARENT TEACHER ASSOCIATIONS 


/ 






EDITORS* FOREWORD 


This volume is one in a series of texts in religious 
education known as the “ Judson Training Manuals for 
the School of the Church.” 

These manuals are arranged in three groups, namely, 
general, departmental, and parent-training. The general 
group includes vital teaching, story-telling, educational 
evangelism, expression through worship, handwork, com¬ 
munity service, appreciation of the Bible, educational 
leadership, and kindred worth-while themes in the field 
of religious education. The departmental group covers 
courses for every department of the school of the church— 
Cradle Roll, Beginners', Primary, Junior, etc. The 
parent-training manuals emphasize religion in the home, 
and the necessity of training for the God-given, heaven- 
blessed privilege of parenthood. 

It is the aim of these manuals to popularize the as¬ 
sured results of the best psychology and pedagogy and to 
make them the willing and efficient servants of all workers 
in the school of the church. 

Both the editors and the writers want these books “ to 
live where the people live ” and to be of real value to those 
forward-looking folk destined to be the leaders in re¬ 
ligious education. 


Editors’ Foreword 


To this end, each course will be (1) simple in language, 
(2) accurate in statement, (3) sound in psychology, (4) 
vital in pedagogy, (5) concrete in treatment, (6) prac¬ 
tical in purpose, and (7) spiritual in tone. 


The Editors. 



AUTHOR’S NOTE 


These talks are for mothers and for those who can 
help mothers. For the little mothers who are too tired 
to study and too busy to puzzle over methods and theories. 
For the inexperienced mother who has not yet realized 
her wonderful opportunities. For the discouraged and 
burdened mother who does not know of the comfort 
and heartsease, the mounts of privilege, the blessed com¬ 
pensations of the early years of motherhood. 





























INTRODUCTION 


To that multitude of young mothers, with and without 
ideals as to home-making, and to that growing company 
of teachers and community workers interested in better 
home-foundationing and a better future citizenship, this 
book by Harriet Bailey Clark, M. D., will come as a con¬ 
tribution that will awaken deep and lasting gratitude. 

For years I have known something of Doctor Clark’s 
equipment for this task and privilege of building better 
motherhood and better childhood and youth, because of 
her rich sympathies, her intimate knowledge of the prob¬ 
lems born of a large experience and keen analytical power, 
her sanity and practical force, her sensitiveness to the 
higher motives and values, and her longing to overcome 
the present haphazard and nearly criminal method, or 
lack of method, of shaping a generation. 

The book is written by a mother for mothers and 
those interested in the problems of childhood and youth. 
It could scarcely be better in its comprehension of the 
mother’s task, in its clear and convincing statement of 
the mother’s privilege of service, and in its arrangement 
of material to emphasize the foundation-necessities in 
the work of building life and character. 


Introduction 


It is not merely a book of theory. It is full of prac¬ 
tical method and winsome illustrations, and material 
which the mother can use in the actual training of her 
child both before and after birth. It leaves nothing to be 
guessed at, and yet there is a rare delicacy in treatment. 

One of the largest values of the work is in the help it 
gives the mother during those first years of babyhood and 
childhood when the life is in the flux and character is 
taking its mold. Matching this is the emphasis placed 
upon home atmosphere and the value of play, with many 
practical suggestions for conserving the expressional life 
of the child. 

Public school and Sunday school teachers, as well as 
mothers, will find the book a storehouse of suggestion 
for their work in dealing with all the years of training 
clear through the adolescent life. It is a book for which 
we have been waiting as a text-book for mothers’ classes 
in the Sunday school and for mothers’ and parents’ asso¬ 
ciations. 

Frank L. Brown. 

Brooklyn, N. Y. 



CONTENTS 


CHAPTER PA GB 

I. Preparing for Motherhood. 15 

II. Care of the Young Child . 25 

III. Education Through Play . 38 

IV. Answering the Child’s Questions. 52 

V. Training to Serve. 65 

VI. Courage Versus Fear . 77 

VII. Truth and Honesty. 8 7 

VIII. Developing Self-Control. 99 

IX. A Child’s Habits. 110 

X. Foundations of Character . 123 

Books of Interest to Mothers. 133 

























+ 













V 



































CHAPTER I 

PREPARING FOR MOTHERHOOD 

When one considers the possibilities of one little child- 
life, and realizes that the making or marring of that life 
rests with us, the parents and guides of the child, the 
weight of responsibility is almost overwhelming. When 
we think of the helpless babe into whose make-up we have 
put much of ourselves—weaknesses as well as virtues— 
coming as a guest into our home and life, to be taught 
and guided and molded, and brought to manhood or 
womanhood, an individual member of the next genera¬ 
tion, strong or weak, brave or a coward, a soul attuned 
to the music heard about the throne of God, or one that 
somehow through our ignorance or neglect has failed to 
lay hold on eternal truths, and is drifting into darkness; 
when we consider the magnitude of the task of rearing 
one child for a life to endure through all eternity, what of 
the preparation? What do we need that shall qualify us 
to lead these little ones ? 

GENERAL PREPARATION 

A knowledge of child-life in general is needed. A 
knowledge of the characteristics of babyhood, with its 
activities and its needs. Then you must know the hered¬ 
ity of your own child, the special characteristics likely to 
develop in your baby, its probable activities and needs, 

15 


16 


Mothers 9 Problems 


and the reactions that are likely to come when the per¬ 
sonalities of the parents are brought into contact with 
that of the child. 

You must know the characteristics, activities, and needs 
of early childhood in general, and the special* needs of 
your own little child. You must know how to carry your 
child through middle and later childhood, through youth, 
and early and late adolescence, and be able to meet grow¬ 
ing intellectual, moral, and spiritual needs with increased 
mental and spiritual power. 

Will you be proud of the results of your efforts when 
you meet this young man or young woman of the 
future ? 

The only way to know how to manage your adolescent 
boy or girl is to study the characteristics, activities, and 
needs of children and of other adolescent boys and girls, 
to learn where other parents have come to grief, or how 
they have overcome difficulties, and be prepared, before 
the day is upon you. The only way to lead your chil¬ 
dren straight, to a clear place in a successful life, is to 
have a distinct aim, to know thoroughly your probable 
difficulties and your reasonable resources, and to keep in 
touch at every moment of the journey, with the only One 
who knows and understands both you and your child, and 
who will be a guide to you both. 

You must realize from the first that this child is yours 
only in the sense of steivardship. He is an individual who, 
in a very few years, will be walking by your side, with 
eyes on a level with your own, and a personality reflecting 
your wisdom or your errors. You must teach him from 
the first to stand alone, to choose, and think, and grow, 
that some day he may be even stronger than you. 





Preparing for Motherhood 


17 


HEREDITY 

A source of great hope and courage is the fact that 
a child born today into a modern home of refined, intel¬ 
ligent, educated parents has something in its combined 
physical, mental, and moral being that could not have 
been found in the new-born child of African parents some 
centuries ago. This child is being started far beyond 
where his forebears began. Something has been given 
him of moral stamina and mental fiber that has been 
wrought into his being by generations of those who have 
fought evil tendencies and have conquered. 

1. Heredity Modified. 

There is a depressing side to this matter of heredity. 
Certain laws are followed out inflexibly. One cannot 
battle against unyielding law, and yet we have learned 
how to use these laws to our advantage, how to overcome 
many hereditary tendencies, and how to conserve the 
good of one generation that it may live in the next. 
Defectives and degenerates continue to beget their kind; 
yes, but marvelous things have been accomplished in child 
nurture and training; and segregation, reform, steriliza¬ 
tion, and watchful care are controlling somewhat the 
output of the illy born. 

2. Millions of Ancestors. 

Picture to yourself for a moment the millions of people 
inhabiting this world today; four generations overlap¬ 
ping, the fifth just coming into existence. Each indi¬ 
vidual has in himself a part of all his many ancestors. 
Counting only twenty-nine of the many generations, go- 

B 



18 


Mothers 9 Problems 


ing back only about seven hundred years, each person 
living today has had, from that time alone, 536,870,912 
individuals contributing different physical aspects to his 
appearance, and mental, moral, and spiritual twists, quirks, 
and tendencies to his make-up. Do you wonder that so 
few of us look alike, or that we all have peculiar tastes 
and tendencies ? 

3. Hope for the Future. 

In the multitude of forces and impressions combining 
to produce the body and mind of each little child, lies our 
hope for his conquering future. Though he may be 
overshadowed by the weakness and evil of his immediate 
ancestors, back of every child somewhere are bravery 
and uprightness. No one man or woman can be all evil, 
and with the possible exception of some unfortunate 
families where degenerates and defectives and alcoholics 
have intermarried for generations, until the child born 
seems almost hopeless, no one set of progenitors can be 
so wholly depraved that their latest descendant is beyond 
at least partial redemption, if the child can be removed 
from vicious surroundings. At the same time the so- 
called well-born child has innumerable tendencies to evil 
to combat, as well as good to develop. And in the knowl¬ 
edge of what lies back of the child we must find the 
keynote of our efforts to influence his future. 

4. Deferred Inheritance. 

Inherited tendencies do not always manifest themselves 
in childhood; belated manifestations may reveal them¬ 
selves in adolescence, or in later life. In this we find 



Preparing for Motherhood 


19 


both encouragement and reason for constant, watchful 
care. A child may well be guarded from exposure to cir¬ 
cumstances that would involve the development of some 
undesirable pronounced family trait, and the boy who 
seems hopeless may yet come into his inheritance of good 
from a forgotten ancestor. 

5. Value in Records. 

Many families neglect their family histories, and much 
of value to succeeding generations has never been re¬ 
corded. 

“ John gets his terrible temper from his great-grand¬ 
father,” said a mother. “ We try to keep away from 
him anything that might make him angry, for he goes into 
a white rage and strikes blindly at anything or anybody 
within reach. I am so afraid he will do some dreadful 
deed some day.” 

“ Did this great-grandfather ever commit any crime 
when enraged ? ” someone asks. 

“ Oh no; he was a fine man, an author, a statesman, 
a man of influence, everyone loved him.” 

“How did he overcome his temper? John ought to 
know the history of his great-grandfather’s life; how 
he fought this defect in his character and conquered it, 
for he must have conquered it, and been the stronger for 
it, or it would have ruined his life. John needs just the 
help this narrative would give him.” 

“ I never thought of that,” said the mother. “ I will 
ask my husband to tell me all he remembers of his grand¬ 
father’s life. I will see if there is a diary in existence. 
I will go to the older relatives for information. It is a 
pity if the story of a life like that cannot be of use, for 



20 


Mothers’ Problems 


they tell me in his boyhood great-grandfather was just 
like John. The intimate story of that victorious life might 
be a very chart of progress to John, and John needs 
something like that, for we have been able to do very 
little for him as yet. We have kept him in health with 
proper food and care, and have taught him to look to his 
heavenly Father for aid; now the force to conquer his 
fault must come from within his own heart. He prob¬ 
ably has many of the same traits and much of the 
strength of character his great-grandfather had, and will 
be able to gain as great a victory.” 

The practical value of the study of a child’s heredity 
is shown in many ways. A slight tendency to exaggera¬ 
tion in a child, born of a family notably dishonest or un¬ 
truthful, must be over-corrected immediately in view of 
the child’s possible inheritance, just as the intermittent 
cough of the child coming of tubercular or asthmatic 
stock must be looked after at once. And the boy who 
shows a decided gift along the line of family literary or 
artistic attainment must not be sacrificed to commercial 
ambitions, or his talent smothered by riches or indolence. 

EUGENICS 

To this study of individual heredity must be added 
that of eugenics, or race improvement. The most won¬ 
derful thing in the universe of God is the creative power 
he has given to his creatures. At that point the human 
comes nearest to the divine. We give our highest honors 
to our poets, musicians, and sculptors; our painters, archi¬ 
tects, and educators; our statesmen, philanthropists, and 
scientists, who work out their soul-visions into beauty 



Preparing for Motherhood 


21 


or grace, happiness, and lasting good for the world to 
see and feel. 

But the most marvelous of all gifts is the power to 
pass on the torch of life, to preserve that undying bit of 
germplasm that has come steadily forward through the 
ages past, creeping up century by century toward the 
present, and to pass it on, the better for our modifying 
influence, to live in our children and children’s children. 

Sir Francis Galton calls eugenics: “ The science which 
deals with all influences that improve the inborn qualities 
of a race.” Why should we not consider a knowledge of 
how to improve the heritage of our children of paramount 
importance? Why does it not take precedence over 
everything else? Why have our plants, our hogs, our 
corn and cattle and horses been watched and improved 
from year to year, and our children left to grow as the 
weeds of the fields? How may we improve the birth¬ 
right of our children? What are the laws of inheritance? 

1. Duty to World. 

We owe it to the world to do our utmost toward 
making the next generation better than that of yesterday. 
To do this we must give more care to the infants born, 
as well as to see that better children are born. In justice 
to the race and in mercy to the possible children of such 
unions, those unfit for parenthood must be prevented 
from reproducing their kind. The race should be pro¬ 
tected from those who would contaminate it. Why should 
the hopelessly insane, the drunken, the wilfully depraved, 
or those rotting in nature’s curse upon lewdness, be 
allowed to bring a little child into the world who is 
doomed to certain idiocy, insanity, or constant suffering? 



22 


Mothers’ Problems 


Why should we stand by in callous indifference and suffer 
this injustice and cruelty to a helpless, innocent babe? 
We have a grave responsibility toward the unborn chil¬ 
dren of the unfit. 

2. Care of Parents. 

On the contrary, to those parents who are fit physically, 
mentally, morally, but who, from any cause, are unable 
to provide proper food, clothing, and home for them¬ 
selves and family, we should give all the help they need, 
for one of the greatest gifts one can give to one’s country 
is a well-born child. Our prospective parents should be 
shielded from the dangers of racial poisons, such as 
alcoholism, syphilis, etc. They should be given such care 
as will insure sound minds in sound bodies, and educated 
so as to prepare them for the duties and responsibilities 
that await them. 

3. Race Improvement. 

When we realize that some day this earth, with all its 
accumulated wealth of material things, will be no more, 
and that all that survives will be the immortal souls who 
have developed here through all the ages, and are to live 
on through eternity, we can easily see that all endeavor, 
the ultimate result of which does not contribute to the 
building up of some individual soul, or to the improve¬ 
ment of the race as a whole, is quite useless. Those who 
give honest, faithful, daily labor to keep the machinery 
of life in motion, who aid in building up bodies and minds 
and improving homes, are colaborers with God in bene- 
fitting and sustaining the race. But those who live for 
selfish ends, for physical gratification, building up their 



Preparing for Motherhood 


23 


own fortune by tearing down that of the race, might 
better never have been born. 

4. Our Part in Eugenics. 

Certain characteristics of the human body and certain 
traits of character are inheritable. Children are born 
unequal—never were two born with the same start in 
life. A bit more of physical endurance, a more placid dis¬ 
position, may determine the balance of advantage in even 
the new-born child, and in the daily development of the 
potential powers of mind and spirit new differences are 
constantly appearing. If we could have selected our own 
great, great-grandparents we might have set ourselves 
some centuries ahead of our fellows—unfortunately per¬ 
haps, this cannot be done, but through life we must make 
the best of what has come into our possession. 

It is impossible that we give to our children absolutely 
sound minds in perfect bodies, for these were not given 
to us, and, in the vicissitudes of life, we are not always 
able to hold even all that is given us. Our ideal should 
be to discover our imperfections—physical, mental, moral, 
and spiritual; and, with every day of life given us, to 
build up a more perfect body, to make tissues strong to 
withstand daily wear or trivial accident, to make nerve- 
centers independent of any stimulant, and capable of 
sustaining the daily burdens without exhaustion, to 
strengthen the will so that there is no tendency to yield 
to the formation of vicious habits, to avoid injuries that 
may lead to permanent physical or mental change, to 
control impulses and self-indulgences and excesses, and 
to build up a character and personality worthy to live 
in the memory and life of those who come after us. 



24 


Mothers 9 Problems 


REVIEW AND DISCUSSION 

1. What knowledge is needed to prepare one to rear 
a child? 

2. In what sense only does the child belong to its 
parents ? 

3. How may heredity be modified? 

4. What hope for the individual child do we find in 
the multiplicity of his ancestors. 

5. How may a knowledge of a child’s heredity be a 
help in his training? 

6. How may the fact of a possible deferred heritage 
influence us in our training of a child ? 

7. What is eugenics? 

8. Why is the study and practice of eugenics of para¬ 
mount importance to the race ? 

9. What is the duty of this generation to the children 
of future generations ? 

10. What is the relation of undernourished bodies and 
discouraged souls to crime? 

11. References: “A Man’s Value to Society,” Hillis, 
pp. 13, 35; “Twenty Years in Hull House,” Addams. 



CHAPTER II 

CARE OF THE YOUNG CHILD 

1. Jesus Set a Value on Childhood. 

The instinctive mother always kneels in heart before the 
little babe, but, until Jesus set the child in the midst, the 
world at large had disregarded childhood and its interests. 
The difference between the degradation of paganism and 
the civilization of Christianity for women and children is 
as night to day. 

2. The Children’s Age. 

In our own land, until recently, more thought, time, and 
care have been given to a prize hog than to a friendless 
child. But the child has come into its own. This is the 
children’s age and the best effort of philanthropist, social 
worker, educator, and legislator is being given to solve 
the probems of the nation’s children. There is no limit 
to the full, free, joyous, abundant life—physical, mental, 
moral, and spiritual—that is possible in this day and age, 
to the normal child of educated Christian parents. 

3. Early Training Necessary. 

The thought of today is: “ How can we save the lives 
of our babies, and bring them to a strong and pure man¬ 
hood and womanhood ? ” We are to consider here only 
the child of the home; with good inheritance, and oppor¬ 
tunity for good air, good food, and hygienic surround- 

25 


26 


Mothers 9 Problems 


ings. With all this it would seem that we could let the 
child grow up like Topsy, and all would be well. In¬ 
deed, there are those, wise in their own thought, who 
say: “ A child is only a little animal. There is no use 
in trying to do anything with it but to feed and clothe 
it.” Never was there an idea more in error, nor more 
productive of future misery. The physical, mental, and 
spiritual bias of the little one are often determined long 
before the baby sees the light, and from the moment of 
birth the future weal or woe of the child is being decided 
day by day. 

4. No Uniform Routine Possible. 

Those who give intelligent care to children soon learn 
that the regime that succeeds admirably with one child 
sometimes unaccountably fails in other cases. But there 
are certain general lines of procedure that may be fol¬ 
lowed. 

There is a happy middle ground between the viewpoint 
of those who think the babe is merely an animal, to eat, 
sleep, and grow, with little or no training, and those who 
consider the newly born child a bit of hollow, plastic 
clay, to be molded and patted, punched and pruned, 
crammed and stuffed, admonished and curbed, from one 
unhappy day to the next. The child is an animal, and as 
such develops naturally and normally, conditions being 
favorable, and in the rapidly changing casement are a 
plastic mind and an impressionable soul. Therefore intel¬ 
ligent care of the physical must always have this knowl¬ 
edge in view. But constant looking to the future and 
overtraining of the child are unwise. The mother of a 
beautiful daughter, who died recently in early woman- 



Care of the Young Child 


27 


hood, said: “ I wake up in the morning sometimes, beg¬ 
ging God to forgive me for the rigid discipline I in¬ 
sisted upon during the early years of my daughter's life. 
Had I known she was to leave me so soon, I would have 
given her more playtime; I would have played with her, 
I would have rocked her, read to her, left her more un¬ 
trammelled to enjoy the happy days. I tried so hard to 
do my duty, but I now see that I made life too hard for 
her during her childhood.” 

5. Gentleness an Essential. 

The mental attitude of the caretaker begins to make its 
impress upon a baby from the moment of birth, and most 
fortunate is the mother who in her hour of weakness has 
a gentle, conscientious woman to care for the life just 
beginning; for the main thing required in the guardian¬ 
ship of a child is gentleness. 

A child should not be roughly handled, physically, 
mentally, or spiritually. Future spinal and nervous dis¬ 
eases develop from rough tossing, shaking, or bouncing 
of the little body, and some of the acute nervous troubles 
and obstinate rebellions of adolescence can be traced to 
nervous shocks during babyhood, or to arbitrary demands 
and unreasonable restraints in childhood. 

6. The Mother Should Be Trained. 

Not all young mothers have prepared themselves to 
care for children, though it may be the most important 
work of their life. 

We should be astonished if we should hear the car¬ 
penter, applying for the job of building a new house, say, 
“ I never learned to be a carpenter. I just build houses.” 



28 


Mothers’ Problems 


Or if the shoemaker should say, “ I never learned to make 
shoes, I just make them.” Or if the piano-tuner should 
say, “ I never learned to tune pianos, I just tune them.” 
You would say, “ You shall not touch my piano! ” And 
the doctor! Suppose he should say, “ I never studied 
medicine, I just practice.” You would send him away in 
a hurry. 

But here is a little new baby in the home, tender, small, 
and helpless, and the mother says, “ I have never studied 
how to be a mother, I must experiment upon my baby 
while I learn how to bring it up.” Perhaps it will live, 
and be strong and well and comfortable and happy and 
bright and obedient, and, then again, perhaps it will not. 

(1) Unnecessary Loss of Life. 

In the United States three hundred thousand babies die 
every year before they are a year old, and one-half of 
these die of preventable diseases. Do you know what that 
means ? Simply that it was not necessary that they should 
die. 

Somebody let them die because of ignorance, or care¬ 
lessness, or laziness. Some of the mothers had too much 
work to do to have any time or strength left for their 
babies, and some of them thought their “ mother-instinct ” 
would teach them how to care for their babies, but it did 
not, and it never can. 

(2) Future Mothers Being Taught. 

Thousands of young women today are being prepared 
in schools and homes and colleges for the duties of 
motherhood, and the care of the little children of the next 
generation. These are being taught the fundamentals 



Care of the Young Child 


29 


of nursery lore; the value of the daily bath to both 
mother and child; the gospel of fresh air, day and night; 
and the necessity for life-giving sleep. They are taught 
how to make light, soft, loose clothing for the child, how 
to keep the garments clean, and how to make the gar¬ 
ments of small children fire-proof by dipping them into a 
solution of ammonium phosphate, so that the flash of 
a flame against a garment so treated, though of the thin¬ 
nest material, will only char, without causing it to burst 
into flame. 

They are taught to keep the child’s head cool, though 
protected from drafts, its feet warm, and its eyes from 
a glare of light. They are impressed with the thought 
that insects of any kind are a menace, and that drugs 
must be avoided except as advised by a competent phys¬ 
ician. 

(3) Feeding the Child. 

The mother soon learns that one reason why the sweet 
serenity of the nursery is disturbed so soon and so often 
is that the baby or young child does not know enough to 
stop eating when it has had enough food. 

(4) Indigestion. 

When food disagrees, don’t be afraid to stop all food. 
Give water, and let the stomach and bowels have a chance 
to empty themselves and rest for a few hours. Then 
begin giving food in drops, or half teaspoonful meals, 
gradually increasing to a few teaspoonfuls with an hour 
at least between feedings, until stomach and bowels show 
that they are able to work again. If mothers would 
stop all food at the first sign of distress, instead of 



30 


Mothers 9 Problems 


giving more nourishment, unless ordered to do so by the 
physician, there would be fewer tiny forms robed for 
burial. 

(5) Appetite Not a Safe Guide. 

One of the fundamental instincts of mankind is the 
effort to prolong life. Men will fight desperately to keep 
on breathing, to find food and drink. This is necessary, 
that men should not perish from off the face of the earth. 
There is nothing more distressing than the sight of the 
way in which a starving person snatches at and devours 
food—unless it is the sight of a man or woman, a hundred 
pounds overweight, rolling in fat, sluggish, stupid, still 
eating, eating, eating, bringing disease and death nearer 
with every mouthful, and yet continuing to waste good 
money and good food that hundreds of other people 
need. 

But many children, who if correctly fed from birth 
would have normal appetites, are given highly seasoned 
and indigestible foods, and allowed to eat at improper 
times, until nature is all at sixes and sevens, and makes 
unusual and abnormal demands. The results are dis¬ 
tressing in the case of children with the necessity of pro¬ 
viding for rapid growth of bone and muscle. They grow 
pale and haggard, with pasty complexions, lose sleep, 
want food only between meals, eat chalk and chew wood, 
and beg for pickles and sweets. These abnormal desires 
show that there have been necessary articles lacking from 
the food. Lime water must be added to the milk; lettuce 
and spinach and celery well masticated should be added 
to the diet. Candy allowed only in small quantities for 
dessert at the midday meal, plenty of water taken be- 



Care of the Young Child 


31 


tween meals with a drink of lemonade or orange juice 
now and then—no other acids. 

(6) The Body a Servant, Not the Master. 

The Fatty who eats too much should be given bulky 
food; dry graham crackers, dry toast, lettuce, spinach, 
string beans, and made to eat very slowly, and chew 
everything thoroughly. His moral nature must be toned 
up, and his will-power strengthened. The dangers of 
layers of fat upon the muscles, and about the internal 
organs must be explained to him. He must be denied 
any food between meals, his allowance of money cut off 
if he buys things to eat, and he must be made to exercise 
until he is normal. Help him to get acquainted with some 
football hero or splendid specimen of manhood; let him 
see how hard his heroes work in the gymnasium or in 
training for a race, and help him to see that those who 
are accomplishing great things must not let the body be 
master but must keep it as a servant. 

(7) Building Up the Frail Child. 

The child with no appetite must have more fresh air 
and sleep, and no fatiguing exercise. The cause must be 
found and removed. No food between meals, but four 
or five meals can be given; graham crackers and a glass 
of milk served as a picnic, or tiny sandwiches given on 
doll dishes. Food must be given that the child likes. 
Physiologists have proven that the sight or smell of agree¬ 
able food starts what is known as “ appetite juice,” and 
this has a great influence upon the subsequent outpouring 
of the gastric juice. Two chocolate creams for dessert 
with a glass of milk, have the same food value as the rice 



Mothers 9 Problems 


pudding that may be unpalatable. The cream puff or 
charlotte russe is as good as oatmeal for a change, if 
eaten at mealtime and relished. 

(8) Child’s Diet Different from Adult’s. 

A child’s diet either as to the articles of food or the 
amounts eaten at meals cannot be regulated according to 
the likes or dislikes, or the appetite or needs of an adult. 
The parents must know the needs of children in general 
at certain ages, and then must find out, by study of spe¬ 
cial cases and observation of the particular child, what he 
needs at that age, in his condition, under certain circum¬ 
stances. Of course this is some trouble—bringing up a 
family is always some trouble—but a mother’s service to 
the world is measured by something more than simply 
bringing the child into it. She must bring him, if possible, 
in health' and strength to a useful maturity. 

(9) Regular Hours Necessary. 

Regularity in taking food is most essential. Nature 
abhors irregularity. The laws of the universe are fol¬ 
lowed steadily, uninterruptedly, day and month and year, 
and the sooner the tiny babe begins to live in harmony 
with the regularly recurring day and night, the better 
for the child. Food must be given at regular intervals, 
bath and care and dressing and undressing and sleep must 
be arranged for at stated hours, and this routine rigidly 
adhered to, unless something unavoidable prevents. 

(10) Fun at Mealtime. 

A child’s ever-present sense of humor is an aid to diges¬ 
tion. Never repress this; it brightens life tremendously 



Care of the Young Child 


33 


to be able to see the humorous side of things as we go 
along. The best time for fun is when the family is 
gathered about the dining-room table. Digestion is some¬ 
times as capricious as a spring breeze. Many a time, with 
correct food, and proper clothing, and the most elaborate 
hygienic surroundings, the children of an anxious mother 
go out from a well-planned meal, to indigestion and 
headache and lifeless study or play, when all that was 
needed was a little fun to start the appetite juices working 
merrily away in the little stomachs. 

7. Interdependence of Physical, Mental, and Spiritual. 

Because the physical is so dependent upon the mental 
and spiritual, a child who is alternately petted and in¬ 
dulged, and then nagged and scolded, does not have a 
fair chance for health. As soon as children understand 
anything, they should be taught that they are individuals, 
just as you and other adults are, and to a certain extent 
just as responsible for their own life. In response for 
what you do for them, they are to say “ Thank you.” 
You are willing to help them all you can, but they are 
to regard it as help. This cuts out the foundation for 
nearly all the unthinking selfishness, and unreasonableness 
of childhood. They have not a clear right to unlimited 
service and love and sacrifice. These are given freely 
to them, but they must be considered as gifts, and valued 
accordingly. 

(1) Home Training. 

Teach a boy to be a man, not a “ sissy ”; to stand things 
bravely and without outcry as a man should, and to be 
a help to everyone about him; teach the girl to joy in 
c 



34 


Mothers 9 Problems 


taking upon herself some of the responsibilities of the 
home—that the children may understand from the first 
the nature of the home and feel that they have a part 
in its management, and that they may be kept from a 
selfish disregard of the burdens of the parents. 

(2) Do not Demand too Much. 

On the other hand, much of the friction in the home- 
life that results in ill health for the growing boy and girl 
comes because too much is demanded of them. They 
have no time they can really call their own for rest or 
play. They should be trained to help in the work of the 
home, but should have some time of their own. 

Even the best mothers do not hesitate to interrupt play 
or study for trivial errands that could wait until the next 
day. Plan your errands so that they can be done on the 
way to or from school, or get out-of-doors every day as 
you should, and do them yourself. Don’t take precious 
after-school time from a boy or girl. Have a system, and 
rigidly hold to it, for your own good as well as for 
theirs. Don’t interrupt them when they are trying to read 
or study or even building blocks if the time is their own. 
When the brain is halted suddenly, in some complex 
problem, harm is done. 

(3) Foundations of Ill Health. 

Make life as smooth as possible for your children. 
Some people think that outbursts of temper, or a storm 
of protest, or a flood of tears over some disappointment 
of no moment whatever. They say “ children’s sorrows 
are soon over,” but many of these childhood troubles 
leave lasting impress upon body and brain. Times of 




Care of the Young Child 


35 


anger day after day, impatience, fretfulness, protest 
against injustice, these all mean headache, indigestion, 
impoverished blood, and a decreased power to with¬ 
stand infection and disease. The foundations of ill health 
are to be found more often in the mental atmosphere of 
the home than in physical conditions. In some homes the 
younger children must be protected from the tyranny 
of older brothers and sisters, and in others, the older 
children from the selfishness of the younger ones. 

(4) Contented Spirit. 

Humor your children’s wishes if it is at all possible. 
Let your little girl do as “ the other girls ” do, if it can 
be done, and seems at all wise, and give your boy what 
“ all the other boys ” have, if you can. Childhood is soon 
over, and little pleasures mean much, and little disap¬ 
pointments leave a deep impress. But, above all, teach 
them to stop crying for the moon, or for any other impos¬ 
sible thing, while they are babies. Teach them to sub¬ 
mit to the inevitable, sweetly, and once for all. A baby 
can be taught to be contented better than a four-year-old 
can, and the four-year-old who has learned to be satisfied 
with such things as he has will pass through the trying 
adolescent period with fewer heartaches and less physical 
disturbance. 

(5) Nervous Stability. 

There is an old saying, that if you speak roughly to 
your cow she will earn no money for you that day. 
Surely we should value our children far above a beast, and 
yet it is hard to make some people believe that a child’s 
nervous organization is infinitely more sensitive than that 



36 


Mothers 9 Problems 


of a cow, and that the intake as well as the output of a 
child’s life depends upon the poise of its nervous con¬ 
dition. But most certainly upon this depend the well¬ 
being of the digestive and secretory and excretory func¬ 
tions of the body, and its power of recuperation and up¬ 
building. Keep a child calm and contented at heart, and 
free from nervous strain or shock, and, other things being 
equal, that child has the best chance for a strong mind 
in a strong body. 

8. A Wonderful Work. 

The children of today are to be the workers of tomor¬ 
row, if we do our part and send them forward able to 
bear the burdens that are waiting for them. It is a won¬ 
derful work, this rearing a child to take our place when 
we have gone. 

To some people babies seem to grow to be common¬ 
place, and many young mothers in the worry of new 
responsibilities, and overwork, and fatigue, stumble along 
through the days, unable to get any comfort or pleasure 
from their children. But the time to get the comfort 
is when children are babies and little tots. Happy the 
mother who can learn early the true values of things. 
Nothing matters, except that you and your baby are 
true, and pure, and clean, and you can look up into God’s 
face at night, and tell him that you have tried to do 
what he wanted you to do that day, not fussing over 
trifles, but trying to train your child to be some day fit 
for his presence. 

Happy the mother who can learn early that true mother¬ 
hood is in itself life’s best school, whose honors should be 
most coveted and appreciated. 



Care of the Young Child 


37 


REVIEW AND DISCUSSION 

1. What was the attitude of the world toward chil¬ 
dren before Jesus came? 

2. What is the attitude of our nation toward its chil¬ 
dren today ? 

3. When should the training of the child begin? 

4. What should be the dominant characteristic of a 
child’s caretaker? 

5. What may be some of the results of dealing roughly 
with a child? 

6. Why should a child be protected from insects? 

7. What should be done when food disagrees with a 
child? 

8. What can be done for the child who is too fat? 

9. What can be done for the child who has no appetite ? 

10. How does fun at mealtime aid digestion? 

11. Why should children have some time they can call 
their own? 

12. What is the effect of anger and fretting upon the 
body? 

13. Of what importance to the health is the mental 
atmosphere of the home ? 

14. Why is it wise to humor a child’s reasonable wishes 
if possible? 

15. Why should a child be taught early to be con¬ 
tented ? 

16. Reference: “ The Seed, the Soil, and the Sower,” 
Slattery. 



CHAPTER III 

EDUCATION THROUGH PLAY 

1. Activity. 

Life consists in a continual adjustment to environ¬ 
ment. Generally speaking, when man ceases to respond 
to the air about him he ceases to live. Thousands of 
causes may contribute to this inability to respond to 
environment, and thousands of grades of inactivity may 
lie between full free action of the lungs, firm regular 
beating of the heart, rich blood coursing through the body 
nourishing every cell, and the last stage of absence of 
life. In proportion to its full normal activity, or its 
failure to do its work, is the body alive or dead. If a 
child is born alive into this world he enters into his in¬ 
heritance of activity. As is the perfection of his body, so, 
as the days go by, is its full harmonious action, its growth, 
and the development of mind and spirit. 

(1) Nature’s Sign Manual. 

Activity in childhood is nature’s sign manual of well¬ 
being. There is no sight more pathetic than that of a 
baby who lies or sits in his place motionless, or of a little 
child who does not know how to play. The normal baby, 
whether of king or peasant, if unhindered, does the same 
things in the same way, generation after generation. In 
the beginning the movements are not conscious play, they 
are simply reflex, instinctive contractions of the muscles. 
38 


Education Through Play 


39 


It is a delight to the onlooker when the first conscious 
movements begin in response to the effort to grasp a 
bright object, or to touch with the hands the wavering 
foot that comes blundering into the range of vision as the 
baby lies kicking his feet in the air. 

(2) Muscle and Sense Development. 

The larger muscles gain their power first; later the 
smaller muscles are brought into play, and the hungry 
senses begin their life-long quest; sight, hearing, smell, 
touch, taste are on the alert, and restless hands and feet 
are constantly active during waking hours. Nature is 
telling her little children how to fill the swiftly flying 
days with delight, and urging preparation for the years to 
come. When the baby throws his rattle, his plate and 
spoon or cup, to the floor again and again, it is not per¬ 
verseness or disobedience, but simply part of the child’s 
development exercise. The muscles are trying to gain 
strength and skill, the ears are listening for the tinkle 
or crash of falling objects, the eyes are watching for the 
flash of light and the motion of the toys or dishes. The 
baby is working hard according to his light, to prepare 
himself for life. The unwise mother finds fault with him 
and punishes him for breaking dishes or toys; but the 
wise mother understands. She trains him to use his 
energy to some purpose; she keeps him from being afraid 
of punishment, and encourages his experiments in his 
efforts to learn. 

(3) Activity Used for Self-expression. 

The normal child when not asleep is constantly busy at 
something, and that something can and should be made 



40 


Mothers 9 Problems 


to count for health and strength of body and mind. Do 
not repress activity, nor simply endure it; use it! use it! 
Help your child to express himself; you may be entrusted 
with the care of a future poet, artist, scientist, or jurist. 
There is a time with most children when they are eager 
to talk, when they are enthusiastic about the little happen¬ 
ings of the day. Encourage them to express themselves. 
Their usefulness in the world may be multiplied many 
fold by their power to make known their thoughts. As 
long as you feed mind and heart, and give them fine 
ideals, they will have something worth expressing. 

2. Originality. 

Help a child to be original; that is, different from 
mother or father or grandfather, if it seems to be so in¬ 
clined. Do not expect it to be just like you, for it will 
not be, and it is wasted effort to try to make it conform 
to any fixed model in your own mind. The child can 
be made to be only the best of the kind he already is. It is 
too late to change the kind, you can only improve the 
quality. So you must encourage every effort he makes 
at self-expression of life so far as he has learned it—that 
is education—and give him something more to grow on. 
Study his actions. Help him to grow along the lines for 
which he seems to be built. 

3. Success Brought to Pass. 

When the mother considers that her child must obtain 
his place in the world by what he is able to be and do, 
and that she largely will determine whether he shall be 
skilled or unskilled in labor, an unsuccessful toiler, or a 
leader and master among men—is it not at a risk that 



Education Through Play 


41 


one day is permitted to go by when the child has not 
advanced in power and ability to use muscles or brain? 
Success does not happen; it is brought to pass and paid 
for with a price, and the far-seeing vision of the mother 
in the nursery is often the first step toward it. If the 
mother does not know the things she wants her child to 
know, she should set herself to study them. 

4. Intelligent Teaching. 

Few children are taught intelligently during the early 
years. Names of objects are told to them in a haphazard 
way, simply for the pleasure of hearing them try to repeat 
them, and meaningless jingles are taught them for the 
same reason. It is marvelous that they learn as much as 
they do in the first few years. “ What does the doggie 
say ? ” and “ What does the moo cow say ? ” are repeated 
over and over long after the child could assimilate other 
ideas. Most children who have learned to recognize a 
dog at sight can be taught during successive days to know 
the picture of a dog, the word that represents the dog, 
the white dog, the brown dog, the black dog, the curly 
dog, the smooth dog, the little dog that says “ Yap, yap,” 
the big dog that says “ Boo, boo,” the gentle dog, the 
cross dog, our dog, a strange dog, the Dutch dog who 
works hard drawing little carts, the snow-dog which 
draws big sleds, the watch-dog that takes care of the 
house at night, the faithful dog that guards the sheep 
in the fields, the loving dog that romps all day with the 
boy at play, one dog, two dogs, etc. And all this is ab¬ 
sorbed without effort, as unconsciously as learning the 
name of bread or milk. 

The effect upon the child is to lay adequate foundations 



42 


Mothers 9 Problems 


for further knowledge, to enable him to answer some of 
his own questions, and to make up more satisfactory plays 
for himself. 

If this system is followed up, using other objects that 
attract the child’s attention, such as the horse, the cow, 
the cat, the ball, the trees, the snow, the rain, his heart 
and mind will be filled with satisfying images, and he will 
be heard introducing into his play-talks astonishing dia¬ 
logues between his imaginary horse and dog friends, and 
will talk to the rain and the trees instead of asking con¬ 
tinually disconnected questions about them. 

The bread upon the table will suggest the little verse: 

“ Behind the bread is the snowy flour, 

And behind the flour the mill. 

Behind the mill the wheat and the shower 
And the sun, and the Father’s will,” 

and the beautiful story can be told of God’s care for his 
children. Each bit of information can be associated with 
his other knowledge, and he will be delighted at the same 
time to make with his blocks the new words. The busy 
child is the happy child. 

(1) Associated Knowledge. 

A child delights to touch the smooth surface of velvet 
or sealskin, and asks immediately what it is. A little 
game can be played to educate his touch. Cover his eyes 
and let him feel of Daddy’s heavy storm-coat, and have 
him guess what it is. He will quickly want to repeat 
the performance, and will recognize immediately the 
smooth, soft touch of mother’s velvet coat, the cool sur¬ 
face of the linen handkerchief, the feel of rug, table, up- 



Education Through Play 


43 


holstered chair, lace-curtain, or slumber-robe, and a flood 
of new impressions delight him, and new words enter his 
world of thought—soft, cool, smooth, rough, warm, hard, 
worsted, silk, lace. They have been presented so natu¬ 
rally and so associated together that the child will as¬ 
similate the ideas immediately, will be stimulated to 
further experiments, and will connect the new ideas with 
all his old knowledge. 

The discontented, restless child, as a rule, is the child 
whose capacity has outrun his knowledge. 

(2) Toys for Baby. 

Play for the little baby must be with large objects, 
blocks without paint, strings of spools, and of big buttons, 
and big wooden beads. Strings of little silver sleigh- 
bells delight him, and he needs big things that can be 
pushed about. 

The two-year-old can use to some extent the smaller 
muscles, and delightful games can be played from now 
on; sorting things of different colors, grouping objects 
of similar shape, games to test sight, hearing, touch, smell, 
or taste; making designs with colored blocks, putting dif¬ 
ferently shaped blocks into holes to fit them, building 
houses, forts, castles, gardens in sand, modeling in clay 
or plasticine, stringing spools, beads, and seeds of dif¬ 
ferent colors, and acting out the stories he loves so well. 

(3) Learning to Read. 

There is nothing to prevent a child from being able to 
read the words of his own vocabulary before he is four, 
except that usually he is not taught to do so. With no 
conscious effort, simply from the use of blocks, letters, 



44 


Mothers 9 Problems 


and pictures, with careful oversight, he easily learns to 
read sentences of his own making, and when he can read 
little stories from his books, his delight is unbounded, and 
a new world is opened to him. 

(4) Life Self-centered. 

The child will be able at this time to keep his toys in 
order, and he likes to think he can help to sweep, dust, 
and cook. He can climb easy stairs, and loves to jump 
from the bottom steps to the floor, likes to balance him¬ 
self walking a chalk-line or crack in the floor, and wants 
to climb over the back of the couch. He needs all this 
exercise, and should be helped to become fearless and 
skilful. During these early years there is little desire for 
cooperation with other children; life is self-centered and 
is nature’s time for solitary preparation. 

(5) Teaching With Dolls. 

The child’s dolls can be made a source of information 
as well as of enjoyment by having them dressed as 
natives of different countries, as a Dutchman, a Chinese, 
a Russian; or to^ represent a sailor, a soldier, a miner, a 
conductor, a policeman, or letter-carrier. A little garden 
can be made in a box, and the planting of seeds and the 
watering and watching the growth of tiny plants made of 
great interest. 

(6) Early Development Games. 

One of the first games one mother played with her little 
one was the white game. She carried the baby about the 
room, letting the child touch each object, emphasizing the 
word “ white.” “ Dear little white bed, white chair, white 
rack, white soap, white sheet, white pillow.” The baby 



Education Through Play 


45 


was always delighted with Mother’s games, so she entered 
into this one with spirit. When Mother put her on the 
floor, she touched again the various objects, trying in her 
baby way to say “ chair,” “ bed,” “ soap.” 

Then Mother said “ White bed.” 

Baby looked inquiringly at mother, then at the bed, 
then nodded her head and tried to say “ white bed.” 
Mother said “ White pillow, so soft and white and clean.” 
Baby put her cheek against the little pillow. Then Mother 
named over the whole list again, “ white bed, white chair, 
everything white, white.” 

A smile of understanding spread over baby’s face, 
“ Whi-whi,” she said, and looked about her, patting the 
bed and chair and window-sill. 

Then Mother put over the back of the chair a little 
white towel. Baby watched with interest, and Mother 
put beside the towel a small white ball, then shook out 
a tiny white handkerchief. 

A light came flashing into the baby’s eyes, and she 
trembled with eagerness as she touched the towel. 
“ Whi’ tow’, whi’ ba’,” she said, and danced in delight, 
as Mother hugged her joyously. Then the whole house 
was searched for white things, and baby learned a dozen 
new names, as she found unfamiliar objects that were 
white. 

Another day they played a “ round ” game. Again 
they played a “ two ” game, and hunted for “ red ” things. 

(7) Alphabet Book. 

A big alphabet scrap-book is a never-ending source of 
delightful education to a young child. Two pages may 
be given to each letter; on the first pages being pictures 



46 


Mothers 9 Problems 


of all sorts of objects of interest to the child, the name 
of each one beginning with A, as apple, angel, aeroplane, 
ant, anvil, Alcazar, Alhambra, Aladdin. Each picture 
will call for a “ story,” which can be adapted to the 
capacity of the developing mind. Being made by Mother 
or by some one especially interested in baby, this book is 
different from anything that can be bought. It is indi¬ 
vidual and original, and when it is built up gradually 
under the eyes of the child, it seems to have in it part 
of his daily life. 

(8) Later Games. 

When the desire to play with other children manifests 
itself, in games of bean-bag, ball, dolls, house, store, tag, 
puss-in-the-corner, tug of war, kites, and hoops, lessons 
on the rights of other people will be learned, and fair¬ 
ness, truth, and unselfishness can be taught. The ques- 
tion-and-answer games can be used, and travel games, if 
other children can be interested in them, and, as soon as 
a child is able to use tools, he can be taught to make doll¬ 
houses and bird-houses, and to copy designs with build¬ 
ing-blocks. 

5. Nature Suggests Activities. 

The years before six as a rule are not utilized as they 
should be. They may be made a constant delight, with 
education proceeding at a rapid rate, simply by using 
intelligently the ever-present energy and following 
nature’s indications of interest and capacity. The quicker 
the children learn to read and use their hands, the less 
trouble they are. 

The wonderful strides in education recently taken by 



Education Through Play 


47 


several young students in this land of play illustrate what 
can be done for little children simply by wisely directing 
nature’s constant activity. It is distressing to see, in so 
many homes, so much energy being wasted, hungry little 
minds seeking for enlightenment forced into barrenness, 
questions showing awakening thought and a spirit of in¬ 
vestigation ridiculed and unanswered, to see the light die 
out of eager eyes, the bright interest fade from the face, 
the tension of active hands relax, and a listless, fretful 
child asking discontentedly, “ What shall I do ? ” 

Nature has suggested a thousand things to do. If she 
had intelligent, competent help, nature could give a child 
in his first seven years a thoroughly solid foundation for 
the finest education. 

(1) Nature Must Have Cooperation. 

This means that some one must give time to further¬ 
ing the child’s development, and it also presupposes 
knowledge and tact and ingenuity on the part of the 
teacher. It further means that some one must show chil¬ 
dren how to do things for themselves instead of doing 
things for them. 

(2) Nature Sets the Time. 

From infancy up, there is one certain time when chil¬ 
dren demand to do certain things. It is then they must 
be helped to achievement, though it may be the most 
inconvenient time for mother, sister, aunt, or father. 
Some one must have patience to let Mary make the 
muffins she likes so well, when she is “ crazy to do it,” 
or to show her how to balance her accounts when she 
wants to know how to keep books, or to go botanizing 



48 


Mothers 9 Problems 


with her when she is busy with her plants. Some one 
must show Harry how to make his dog-house, or tobog¬ 
gan-slide, or telephone, or how to manage his microscope, 
just when Harry is “ on fire ” to do these things. In 
another year it will be too late. 

Nature orders her schedule to suit no one but the chil¬ 
dren. When Clara wants to learn how to run the sew¬ 
ing-machine, and says she is sure she can make the 
morning gown you are cutting out, turn it over to her, 
let her cut and make it, guarding her only against mis¬ 
takes that would discourage her. When a child learns 
something he wants to know, and begs it as a favor, 
nature is throwing out a broad hint that “ now is the 
accepted time,” and only an unwise guardian would 
ignore the invitation to make work a delightful play. 

6. Common Sense Schools. 

For the older children there is to be a wide-spread 
revolution in public-school methods during the next 
decade. When one thinks how unnatural, how positively 
inhuman some of our methods have been, caging up little 
wild creatures for four or five hours at a time, trying to 
run them out by machinery into blocks of uniform pattern 
and design, when they are intended to grow' like trees, 
fast or slow, tall or short, weak or strong, willowy or in¬ 
dependent, some like vines clinging, and some doomed 
to remain like saplings all their life, is it any wonder 
that forced and crammed and badgered and discouraged 
many children have committed suicide, that the great bulk 
has dropped out in no way prepared for life, and that 
the percentage of those reaching the top with any degree 
of health and attainment has been pitifully, almost un- 



Education Through Play 


49 


believably small? Our sympathies go out to the truant; 
some one is to blame for not running away with each 
truant, and teaching him life in the great out-of-doors, 
and we are all to blame for shutting him up so long that 
he had to run away, and that he runs into evil and sor¬ 
row and death. 

(1) Learning How to Live. 

In the wonderful new schools where children are treated 
as individual children, and not machines, and where they 
are allowed to choose their special work, and are taught 
by methods so natural that they seem like play, the child 
learns how to do the things he will have to do when he 
is grown. He is so eager to do them, and to learn more 
and more, that some schools are obliged to hold from 
seven o’clock to five. So truly do children respond when 
they are treated as human beings, and not like blocks of 
wood, that they have waiting-lists for classes. 

One home school has been established where the pupils 
make the furniture, plant, care for and harvest the vege¬ 
tables, care for a cow, make butter and cheese, cook their 
noon-day meal, sew for the house, and learn to live, and 
yet they are doing more of the regular school work than 
has been done by other classes. 

(2) Vacation Problems. 

Our vacation problems are being met for the children in 
a masterly way in most communities by public play¬ 
grounds and vacation Bible schools, while continuation 
schools, correspondence classes, and recreative centers 
are solving some of the problems for our young people 
and their ambitious elders. 

D 



50 


Mothers 9 Problems 


7. Work Changed to Play. 

Not the least of the valuable ideas developed during 
this work for the children is the thought of the conver¬ 
sion of work into play. As the children are being taught 
to do their work while they are playing, thousands of 
adults are learning how to put some play into their lives 
of toil. A boy will play all day, working at a laborious 
task, and come in completely exhausted; but, as he views 
his completed work in the twilight, he says with a sigh of 
satisfaction, “ Whew, but that was fun! ” Dr. S. Weir 
Mitchell, at the close of his long and useful life, wrote 

“ I know the night is near at hand, 

The mists lie low on hill and bay, 

The autumn leaves are dewless, dry; 

But I have had the day. 

Yes, I have had, dear Lord, the day." 

Work is changed from a curse to a blessing when 
men love their work and make play of it. Those who 
do the best work in life are they who go to their tasks 
singing and rejoicing. 

REVIEW AND DISCUSSION 

1. What is life? 

2. What is the first activity of the baby ? 

3. Why should the activity of the child not be re¬ 
pressed ? 

4. Why should a mother plan the activities of the child 
according to the indications of his awakening desires? 

5. Why should the mother look into the future and 
work toward some vision for her child? 



Education Through Play 


51 


6. How may a young child be taught so that new 
knowledge is associated with what he already knows? 

7. Tell of some early development games. 

8. What is the value of the alphabet scrap-book? 

9. What kind of toys should the small child have ? 

10. Why should the young child not be required to 
sew or string small beads? 

11. Give your idea of a common-sense school. 

12. What can be done for children during vacation? 

13. What can be accomplished by continuation schools 
and recreation centers? 

14. What is the value of combining work and play? 

15. How does the bondage of “ things ” keep a woman 
from being a good mother? 

16. References: The Master’s Joy in " Manhood of the 
Master,” Fosdick, p. 12; “ Children at Play in Many 
Lands,” Hall. 



CHAPTER IV 

ANSWERING THE CHILD’S QUESTIONS 

LIFE’S VISIONS 
1. The Land of Magic. 

Mother and Margy had been out for a drive. When 
they came in, baby seated herself beside her mother and 
commenced to “ draw.” As she made her lines and dots 
and dashes, and funny little attempts at circles, her 
mother noted some regularity about the arrangement, 
and a repetition of some design. 

“ What are you making, sweetheart ? ” she said. 

The baby was a quiet child, and hesitated to express 
herself. Finally a tiny, fat finger pointed to a wabbly 
circle. “ That’s the well,” she said. 

“ Why so it is,” said the surprised mother; “ where we 
stopped to get a drink.” 

“ And all the dreen drass and little stones,” continued 
the baby, pointing to numerous dots and dashes, “this 
stone a white one, that one a brown one,” she said. 

The mother looked on breathlessly. 

“ And the little walk and the flowers,” pointing to some 
wiggly marks, “ red flowers,” she said decidedly. 
“ Mother, Margy, car,” she said finally, and proceded to 
draw it all over again. 

As she worked away industriously, she murmured, 
“ This a little black dog, little black dog, little black dog.” 

52 


Answering the Child’s Questions 


53 


“ But, Margy, there was no little black dog there.” 

“ Next time little black dog,” said the baby calmly, and 
the mother gasped. 

For the first time her baby’s thoughts were traveling 
away from her little body. They had lived so snugly to¬ 
gether, she and her baby, and now the thoughts of the 
little one had begun their travels around the wide world 
on the wings of imagination. She was having her first 
glimpse of “ the light that never was on sea or land.” 

She never had seen a little black dog save at a distance. 
How had she grasped him, and set him in her picture, 
pleasing herself with the thought that next time he would 
be part of their adventuring? 

With something of a pang the mother watched the 
absorbed child. Never again could she feel that her baby 
was entirely her own, held safe and secure in her arms. 
Her baby had wings. 

The plump little body sat here in the tiny red chair, but 
her baby was out again, riding over the hills and through 
the woods, living over each incident of the drive. Her 
dots and dashes and wabbly circles were things and 
people, and she was even adding something to the experi¬ 
ence, and living in future pleasures. 

Memory, imagination, anticipation, and something of 
creative power, and her baby only three! In the days 
to come what would be her memories, to what heights 
would her imagination soar? Would her soul-visions be 
clear and strong, and lead her upward to the light, and 
could she be taught to pay the price of reaching the 
heights? The mother felt burdened with her sense of 
responsibility to the mind and soul lodged in the little 
body in the red chair. 



54 


Mothers’ Problems 


(1) Nature’s Kind Provision. 

With the little child the imagination endows objects 
with life, and in his dream-world the horse that prances, 
the bear that stands up and growls, the elephant that 
stalks majestically over the blocks on the floor, are just 
as real when only a stick is held in the little hands as 
when attempts are made to give him something more like 
the living thing. Thus does nature provide against 
privation in the lives of her baby children. A child will 
descend from the back of a most realistic hobby-horse, 
with a decidedly bored expression, to prance delightedly 
about the room on a cane. 

(2) A Fairy Lady. 

A little child who had never been told a fairy tale said 
shyly one day, pointing to a beautiful yellow pansy, “ I 
think a little gold lady lives in there.” 

“ What makes you think that, dear ? ” she was asked. 

“ She smiles at me and nods her head,” said the child. 

We can see from this how the first fairy story was con¬ 
ceived, and how the fays and fairies and brownies appeal 
to the fancy of a child. 

2. Influence of Stories. 

The deeds of the good fairies and brownies, beautiful 
poems, tales of the classics and modern heroes, the folk¬ 
lore of all nations, the nature stories, animal stories, and 
concrete stories of real life, especially the experiences of 
father, mother, and grandparents, all these form a firm 
foundation for childish ideals, and may exert a positive 
influence for good. 



Answering the Child's Questions 


55 


3. Positive Impression Better than Negative Instruc¬ 

tion. 

Only those stories telling of the bravest, kindest, most 
loving deeds should be related to the young child. No 
one can foretell the far-reaching influence of an unsuit¬ 
able story upon the unstable nervous system, and it is 
unwise to risk bad dreams, and the development of fears 
and superstitions, when there is such an abundance of 
good material at hand. 

Some robust natures among even little children enjoy 
tales of bad goblins and disobedient children, and seem 
to be benefitted at the time by the thoughts of the terrible 
results of evil-doing; but, as a rule, even these will re¬ 
spond more quickly and with better effect to positive in¬ 
fluences, to a story leading their thoughts to constructive 
good and higher ideals. The very children who delight 
to shudder at gruesome tales, are the ones who will be 
tempted to try some of the wicked deeds, to see if they 
really lead to such disastrous results. Children are very 
easily influenced through indirect suggestion. 

4. The Make-believe Life. 

As the child grows a little older, his imagination be¬ 
comes very practical, and combines with imitation, urging 
him to build houses and barns with his blocks, and to stock 
his farm with animals, to build bridges and skyscrapers, 
and to rush the people into trains and steamships; the 
little girl builds homes and schools, and carries her doll- 
children through all the delights and ills of babyhood 
and childhood. The children run the gamut of life so 
far as they know it, in their make-believes, and find it 



56 


Mothers 9 Problems 


hard to distinguish sometimes between the real and the 
dream life. Mothers should not blame them when they 
confuse truth and fancy, but should enter into their 
dream-world with them as far as possible, and help them 
to see the truth, but children should not be expected to 
see truth just as an adult sees it. 

5. Practising the Ideal. 

Their gift of dramatic imitation should be utilized. 
When Bessie is a grown-up lady and comes calling, the 
most courteous treatment and cultured conversation can 
be made a vehicle of education, and be sure it will be 
appreciated. When Johnnie is Uncle Bob, and comes 
with his car to take the family motoring, he can be taught 
to be the cultured gentleman Mother wants him to be 
later. He will understand. 

6. The Power of the Imagination. 

In adolescence the imagination paints glorious pictures 
of future success, holds a glowing ideal before the soul’s 
vision, reveals glimpses of truth that start the dreamer 
on a life voyage of discovery, stimulates investigation, 
and gives incentive for hard work that may bring great 
results in science or invention, and, as life goes on, gives 
one the courage to pursue the ideal in art or profession, 
and reaching ever higher and higher, it leads the human 
soul at last to communion with its maker, God, giving to 
those whose eyes are opened the faith that can see the 
mountain full of horses and chariots of the Lord. It is 
imagination that gives the human touch to missionary and 
Red Cross nurse, and that makes the men in the trenches 
rejoice to live and die for humanity’s sake. 



Answering the Child's Questions 


57 


To those without imagination, life is dull and gray; it 
lacks stimulus and beauty, comradeship and comfort. 

7. The Imagination Not to Be Repressed, 

The imagination must not be repressed; it is a wonder¬ 
ful power. It must be fed aright, and developed, from 
crude fancy and trivial picturings into ideals of strength 
and beauty, into mighty forces urging to endurance and 
perseverance, and into faith that breaks the fetters from 
the soul, and leads it into the presence of God. 

LIFE’S BEGINNINGS 

1. Curiosity Awakens. 

The first question concerning sex is likely to come from 
the little tot: “ Mother, where did baby brother come 
from ? ” The mother is perplexed; the old traditional 
stories of the stork, the sugar barrel, the cabbage field, 
and the doctor, occur to her. She is a wise mother; she 
knows these custom-sanctioned untruths may allay curios¬ 
ity for a time, but what of the future ? 

2. Seeking Truth. 

Her little girl, but yesterday a baby herself, has abso¬ 
lute confidence in her parents. She has been guarded from 
deception in any form, and her perfect faith in everyone 
about her is almost pathetic. Even Santa Claus has been 
explained to her as the big fat, jolly Spirit of the Christ¬ 
mastime, and has been classed in her heart with the fairies 
and brownies, loved and believed in as real in their own 
world. Shall the mother be the first to put a lie into the 
little heart ? She looks into the earnest little face. 

“ God sent brother to us, dear.” 



58 


Mothers 9 Problems 


“ Did he drop right down from the sky, Mother ? ” 

“ No, dear, but God made the baby grow from a tiny, 
tiny dot that you could scarcely see, like the smallest 
little seed or egg, in a little nest that was in a secret place 
that only Mother knew about; and he grew, and grew, 
and when he was big enough to be alive in the world like 
other people, God let Mother bring him into his own 
little bed, and put dear little clothes on him, and feed 
him, and bathe him, and take care of him. And he grows 
so fast he will soon be walking around and we will have 
the loveliest times together.” 

“Yes, we will, Mother. Isn’t he cunning? Wasn’t 
God good to let us have him ? ” 

“ Yes, dear, a little baby is a marvelous creation, no one 
but God could make anything so wonderful.” 

3. Father and Mother. 

Later, when questions begin again, the mother explains 
the father and mother principle, shows her the mother 
robin on her nest, and the father robin scurrying around 
after worms for her, and how they both work with all 
their might to find food for the hungry baby robins when 
they come out of their shells. She tells her about the 
little chestnut babies. 

Three little babies in white silk robes 
Lay in a cradle of green. 

The cradle, with lining of satin white, 

Was the coziest ever seen. 

Far from the world the little ones slept, 

In a castle strong and tall; 

And never could passing stranger’s eye 
On the precious babies fall. 



Answering the Child’s Questions 


59 


The months flew by, and the babies three 
Grew stronger by day and night; 

And to shiny satin of nut-brown hue 
Were changed their robes of white. 

The fall winds blew, the castle rocked, 

The cradle broke in two, 

And down to the ground from a tree-top tall 
Three little brown chestnuts flew. 

—'" The Chestnut Burr,” by May Belle Willis. 

4 . The Home. 

Mother explains how the little girl’s home is like a 
great big nest, which Father and Mother have for their 
boys and girls. She tells her how all the animals went 
into the ark, two by two, the father lion and the mother 
lion, and the father bear and the mother bear, and even 
the father ant and the little mother ant, and how always 
there must be the father and the mother and the nest 
before the babies can grow. Then she shows her the 
little seed cups of the flowers, where the seeds for next 
year’s blossoms are, and explains that even the flowers 
have a father part and a mother part, and the yellow 
dust is the father part, falling into the little seed cup 
which is the mother part. And she explains how there 
may be tiny seeds in some flowers all ready to grow, but 
unless the yellow pollen falls into the seed cup, there will 
be no flowers from the seeds the next year. She tells 
her how sometimes the father pollen is in a flower away 
off at the end of a field, and on this side of the field is 
a flower with a little seed cup, and a big bumblebee comes 
along, and takes some honey from the father flower, and 
gets all covered with yellow dust, and then he flies away, 
and when he goes after the honey in the mother flower, 



60 


Mothers 9 Problems 


the dust all drops into the little seed cup, and then the 
seeds grow, and next year the flowers bloom again. And 
these have little seed cups and more pollen, and other 
flowers grow year after year. 

And that is the way it is with people. The mother has 
the little nest, and the father has the power to make the 
seeds grow, and the father and the mother get the house 
ready, and they go to housekeeping, and then the babies 
come and make the lovely family. 

5. The Secret Nest. 

But the most important part of all is that, as the little 
girl babies grow up, they are being made ready to have a 
little mother nest of their own. And when the little girl 
is old enough to understand, and can keep the secret just 
between herself and her mother, the mother tells her 
that this little nest with the tiny, tiny, tiny dot in it that 
grows is away inside of her own little body. And when 
the little girl grows into a woman, and has a husband 
and a home all ready, then a tiny dot, so safe and warm 
in the nest, begins to grow and grow into a little baby, 
and when the right time comes, God has provided that 
the baby enters the world as a little child. 

6. Care for the Body. 

So the little girl learns that tomorrow holds great pos¬ 
sibilities for her, and it behooves her to take great care 
of her body, for when she is grown up like Mother she 
will want to be a strong, beautiful woman, capable of 
taking care of her own home. She must watch her 
body, that no evil comes near it, and no harm comes to 



Answering the Child’s Questions 


61 


the little nest, and when the years bring her to woman¬ 
hood, and she has a husband and little children of her 
own, she will thank the mother who loved her enough 
to fill her mind with sane and beautiful thoughts of God’s 
care for his creatures, and who helped her to guard care¬ 
fully her body, and made possible the happiness of her 
later life. 

7. The Gift of Life. 

So soon as the boy is old enough to understand, and 
this sometimes must be very early in his life, to forestall 
impure teaching from servants and older children, he 
must be told how God has made him different from his 
sister, because he is to be the father in his own home some 
day. How God has given a wonderful power to the 
father nature in the plants, and trees, and birds, and all 
animals, to start the life of the future to growing. With¬ 
out the yellow pollen dust there would be no morning- 
glories next year; if the beautiful, life-giving, yellow 
dust is not scattered over the tiny seeds in the apple- 
blossoms, there will be no big red apples in the autumn; 
if the father robin and the mother robin did not agree 
to build their nest, and start their home together, there 
would be no robin redbreasts to hop over the lawn and 
sing so sweetly in the spring. 

So God puts it into the hearts of young men and young 
women all over the world, to love each other, and start 
a little home and raise a family of children to take their 
places in the world when they have gone. And every 
boy who grows up in health to young manhood, has given 
to him this power of starting new life to make the men 
and women of the future. It is a wonderful power, 



62 


Mothers 9 Problems 


almost like the power of God when he created the world 
and the plants and animals, and the first man and woman 
to govern it all. 

8. Like Begets Like. 

And it is a solemn thing to think that each boy or man 
can produce, or reproduce as we call it, only the kind of 
life that he has himself. If he builds up a strong, beau¬ 
tiful body, and is bright in school, and brave and honest, 
and kind to animals, and courteous and gentle to his 
sisters, and helpful to every one, then in the years to come 
his own children will be likely to be that way too. For 
there is a law of heredity that like begets like, and 
children are born with a body like their parents, and a 
tendency to be good or bad as their parents were before 
them. So a boy must be what he wants to be when he 
is a man, and what he would want his own children to 
be some day. 

9. Guarding this Wonderful Power. 

And he must care for his body and guard this wonder¬ 
ful life-giving power, never listening to any one who says 
anything impure about it. Some boys have not been 
taught to be pure in their thought or actions, and some 
men use this power in a way to bring untold misery into 
the world. He is told that as the days go by, if he wants 
more information, he is not to listen to those who may 
have wrong ideas, but is to go to Father or Mother who 
will tell him the truth, and help him to keep himself 
pure and clean. In the years to come when he has 
a home of his own he will thank God that he was taught 
how wonderful it is to be a coworker with God in bring- 



Answering the Child’s Questions 


63 


ing new life into the world, and helping to make it better 
and purer and happier. 

10. Cleanliness and Purity. 

To guard the children from a too early sex develop¬ 
ment, even little babies must be watched very carefully. 
Absolute cleanliness of body must be maintained, any 
unusual movement must be prevented, and the body kept 
fully clothed at all times. Servants must be watched, 
for some are wickedly unreliable. When the little one 
is old enough to understand, in connection with the daily 
bath, he must be impressed with the thought that the 
parts of the body touched by the waste as it leaves the 
system, require special cleanliness, or disease will in¬ 
vade the body, but under ordinary circumstances, these 
portions of the body are not to be touched for any 
other purpose by any one, not even the child himself. 
If they are clean and normal, there will be no irritation, 
and nothing to draw the child’s attention to them. If they 
need care, he is to ask Mother or Father about it. This 
instruction must be repeated over and over and over 
again, until he understands they must not be touched. 
This will save the child from evils the extent of which 
no one but a physician can realize, and the foundation is 
laid for p irity of body as well as of mind. While the 
child is too young to understand motives, he can be 
intrenched in habit, and future temptations will have less 
power over him. 

11. Beautiful Story of Life. 

It is so easy for a child to go wrong, and it is 
almost impossible to impress some mothers with an ade- 



64 


Mothers’ Problems 


quate sense of the danger and the necessity for early care 
and instruction. The facts of reproduction are so won¬ 
derful, and as interesting as any fairy tale or magician’s 
wonder-story, and when the young mind grasps the 
thought in its freshness and purity, before the vulgar 
suggestions of the street have had an opportunity to soil 
it, the heart holds it pure and clean for life, and evil has 
less power to influence the future. The mother who 
thus fortifies her child against future temptation has taken 
the first steps to prevent the disasters that overtake thou¬ 
sands upon thousands of our young people every year. 
Knowledge with purity is protection. 

REVIEW AND DISCUSSION 

1. Why should only stories of good deeds rather than 
of wicked people be told to little children ? 

2. How may a child’s imagination be made to aid in 
his training ? 

3. How does imitation aid in the development of a 
child? 

4. Why should the imagination of growing children 
not be repressed? 

5. Why should children be taught that they have some 
responsibility toward the men and women of the next 
generation ? 

6. References: Aspirations and Ideals, in “ Man’s 
Value to Society,” Hillis, Chap. 3; “Living Teachers,” 
Slattery; “ The Charm of the Impossible,” Slattery. 



CHAPTER V 

TRAINING TO SERVE 

1. Responsive Love. 

The first conscious thought of a little child should be 
love; that is, an inward response to the love seen in the 
mother’s glance, and felt in her loving touch. This 
love is nourished by the physical comfort provided by the 
mother or caretaker—warmth, cleanliness, food, soft 
clothing, the loving caress, and gentle word. Then, as 
the child grows, the toys, the song, the comfort in pain 
or illness, later the play, the story, the excursions about 
the house and out-of-doors—all these minister to his 
physical well-being, and he responds with an infant’s love, 
which has little of appreciation or gratitude in it. The 
child to himself is the center of his world, and everyone 
he sees exists but to do his pleasure. His first love is 
simply a response to the love that surrounds him. 

(1) Dawn of Altruistic Impulse. 

Gradually, as the days go by, there develops a vague 
sense of obligation, and he begins to discern dimly some 
of the rights and privileges of others. Soon he recognizes 
a slight connection between his own actions and the re¬ 
sponse from those about him, and his first conscious 
effort to control a wayward impulse is made because he 
sees that disobedience occasions a change in his mother’s 
expression, a disappearance of the approving smile, a sad- 
e 65 


66 


Mothers 9 Problems 


ness instead of the usual glance of love; and he tries to 
win her approval by conforming to her wish. Thus is 
responsive love converted into service to the loved one, 
and the child’s first altruistic impulse is born. 

(2) Child’s Desire to “ Help.” 

His future temperament, disposition, character, depend 
largely upon his training now. Wise is the mother who, 
even at this early date, checks her personal impulse always 
to serve the child, in the effort to teach the child to serve 
through love. The first awkward efforts to “ help ” 
mother must be noticed and appreciated and accepted. 
A mother who refuses these offers over and over again, 
through early and later childhood, because it is more 
trouble to teach the child to do things than to do them 
herself, will be very inconsistent to lament later that 
her young daughter and son take no pride in the appear¬ 
ance of the home, and have no desire to help in the 
household duties. The time to teach certain things is 
not to be at the convenience of the mother, but must be 
at the moment of the development of the desire in the 
child to learn and serve. 

2. Self-Interest Not Always Selfishness. 

The average infant is so self-centered as to seem selfish. 
Do not blame the baby for something that is common to 
all infants. The young child soon learns to offer its play¬ 
things to its companions, to share its goodies, and some 
children gladly sacrifice comfort for the benefit of others. 

3. Courtesy in the Home. 

Be sure that the child begins its life with the impres¬ 
sion that the sweetest thoughts and the kindest deeds 



Training to Serve 


67 


belong to his home people. It is astonishing how many 
homes have the spirit of the burly man who followed 
his wife into a street car. She was loaded down with 
bundles while he had his hands in his pockets. A gentle¬ 
man arose to offer her his seat, when the man pushed for¬ 
ward and dropped into it. 

“ I didn’t give that seat to you,” said the gentleman. 
“ I gave it to this lady.” 

“ Dot’s all right,” grinned the man. “ She’s no lady, 
she’s my vife! ” 

Many men would scarcely go that far, but, neverthe¬ 
less, they are never quite so kindly courteous to the 
mistress of their home as they are to strangers; and so 
many wives and mothers have such a very different code 
of manners for the home-folks and the rest of the world, 
that children learn to know their “ company voice.” If 
there must be any lack of courtesy, it might better be 
shown to strangers than to the loved ones of the home. 

(1) Gentle Manners Taught by Example. 

Unfortunately good manners cannot be taught to a 
child by those ignorant of them. The mother who would 
have her baby courteous to her must be courteous to her 
baby, and the father who wants his boy to be a gentleman 
must himself be a gentleman. One cannot help a feeling 
of pity for the child who awakens one day to the con¬ 
sciousness of a lack in himself, caused by faulty home¬ 
training, and finds that he must set himself at the hard 
task of unlearning boorish manners or uncouth speech. 

The early acquisition of fine manners is an invaluable 
possession. Life will be smoother if not happier for the 
fortunate one who has been trained early in life to polite- 



68 


Mothers 9 Problems 


ness, gentleness, and courtesy on all occasions. There are 
times and circumstances when politeness has been known 
to win what gold and hard work have failed to accom¬ 
plish. It is they who have been trained in courtesy from 
babyhood who most often find themselves possessed of 
tact. Kindness may blunder, and courtesy may cast 
pearls before swine, but tact does and says the right thing 
at the right time and in the right place. 

4. Trained to Serve. 

From the beginning a child should be taught to pass 
along its blessings. Love is service. It is the greatest 
kindness to a child to direct his activities into useful 
channels. Begin his education early, turn his thoughts 
away from himself. Show him how he is only an atom 
in God’s great universe, only one of thousands of millions 
upon earth; how he is debtor to the men and women 
who lived years ago; to the brave hearts who gave us this 
beautiful country and nation; to builders and workers in 
brass and wood, tin and iron; to woodmen, miners, and 
sailors; to animal, vegetable, and mineral kingdoms; the 
sheep, beaver, and deer; tree and bush; river and spring; 
to countless multitudes who have served that he might 
live free and happy and comfortable. His heart should 
be full of love for every one, and his days filled with deeds 
of love and kindness, that he may by these say “ Thank 
you ” for all that has been done for him. Use all the 
generous impulses of the baby-heart, and child-mind, 
and guide the dawning altruistic thought. It may be a 
trouble, at the time, to so teach and train your child, but, 
in days to come, your heart will swell with love and 
pride when word comes to you of noble deeds done by 



Training to Serve 


69 


your grown sons and daughters. You will then realize 
that these are the direct outcome of loving impulses 
cherished and directed by you in infancy and child¬ 
hood. 

5. Life a Mirror. 

Sometimes a child feels grouchy for no apparent reason, 
and the smiles are gone. Bring a mirror suddenly before 
his face when he is angry or fretful, and show him how 
he looks. Ask him to smile and see how much better he 
looks. Get your little amateur grouch interested in mak¬ 
ing some experiments along this line. Tell him to smile 
happily at people, and see if they do not smile at him; 
if he wants to try a frown on some of the boys, be sure 
they will frown back at him. And then he can tell them 
he did it just on purpose to see what they would do. He 
will be pleased with the fancy that people are like a look¬ 
ing-glass, and that he will find that much of his little 
world will reflect what he himself, gives to it. 

6. Unselfishness. 

Foster the spirit of unselfishness and generosity, but 
let these be expressed in a child’s way. It is harder for 
some children to be unselfish than it is for others. 

“ Two little sisters, Daisy and Bess, had been given a 
parasol, which was* to be held and shared in common. It 
was a dainty bit of blue satin, with such glory of ribbons 
and lace as well might charm the most exacting little girl. 
They were to take turns carrying it; but mother noticed 
at the end of a week that Bessie’s turn never seemed to 
come, although the unselfish little girl made no com¬ 
plaint. 



70 


Mothers’ Problems 


“ One day, as they started for a waTk, Miss Daisy, 
as usual, appropriated the coveted treasure, and gentle 
Bess was moved to remonstrance: ‘ Sister, it’s my time to 
carry it! ’ 

“ ‘ No, it’s not; it’s my time! I haven’t had it hardly 
a bit,’ retorted Miss Temper, with a flash of her brown 
eyes, as she grasped the parasol more tightly. 

“ ‘ Daisy,’ interposed mother, ‘ give it to your sister. 
She has let you have it every day, and you must learn 
to give up.’ 

“ ‘ Oh, Mamma, I can’t! There is no giveuppity in me,’ 
sobbed the little girl, dropping the parasol and hiding her 
flushed face in her mother’s arms.”— Youth’s Companion. 

Do not expect too much, do not demand too much; 
there must be a gradual growth in natures such as this. 
If a child simply keeps happy and smiling as he daily 
grows a little taller, a little kinder, and a little wiser, he 
is doing a child’s work in the world, and doing it well. 
Notice the little kindnesses he does, and make him feel 
that it is worth while to try. 

7. Missions. 

The thought of kindnesses can be extended gradually 
from mother or sister or nurse, father, relatives, neigh¬ 
bors, poor people, to little children in other lands who 
need help. The world idea of neighborliness can easily be 
given to little children, for they have limited ideas of 
space. To them the whole world is just at hand, and if 
they are kept informed of mission conditions and needs 
as they grow older, they will never lose the idea that the 
one who needs help is neighbor to them, whether living 
in India or Africa or only on the next street. 



Training to Serve 


71 


8. The Lord’s Box. 

If our young children can be led to put aside always, 
as a matter of course, one little portion for the Lord’s 
share of every gift or allowance they receive, and then 
can- be guided aright and helped to distribute these por¬ 
tions from the Lord’s box to others so that they can see 
the good they can do, you may be sure that the missionary 
spirit will never be lacking in them. 

9. Sympathy. 

We think sometimes that children are unsympathetic in 
the presence of the suffering or sorrow of adults, but, just 
as a child can cause suffering in. ignorance, so, because of 
his inexperience, there is often nothing in his heart 
which can interpret to him the sufferings of other people. 
He is indifferent because he cannot comprehend what 
others are enduring, and he is not to be blamed for this; 
knowledge will come to him soon enough. As if in proof 
that children are not callous or indifferent because they 
are hard-hearted, very young children can understand 
when animals are hurt. A child will cry to see a horse 
fall or a dog or cat limping or injured; this is within his 
ken and his sympathy responds instantly. 

(1) Cruelty in Children. 

Little children are sometimes said to be cruel, but an 
observing mother will know that if they are normal they 
do not mean to be cruel. Their knowledge is very 
limited. New experiences are crowding so upon them 
every day that they cannot assimilate them all. They 
pull an animal about just as they would a toy, not know- 



72 


Mothers 9 Problems 


ing the difference. They should have pets, for in this way 
they learn to put forth effort to help and please, but their 
pets should be strong and able largely to care for them¬ 
selves. Very small children should not be left alone with 
small or helpless animals. 

(2) Imagination Creates Sympathy. 

When the child is old enough to use his imagination to 
help him understand how animals feel and what they 
think, instruction is easy. Little Jack longs for the time 
to come when he can drive a horse, flourishing a big whip 
and saying “ Get up ” in fine style. When he can do this 
he will be sure not to hit the horse with the whip, for he 
can just imagine how the horse feels, and he will be 
kind to the horse. 

(3) Knowledge Prevents Cruelty. 

Older boys are often ignorant and thoughtless, and do 
cruel things without really meaning to cause suffering. 
The way to help them is to give them a wider knowl¬ 
edge. Professor Kirkpatrick tells how Doctor Hodge 
of Worcester found a lot of toads that had been killed 
by school boys. He cured them of cruelty in this direc¬ 
tion by offering a prize for the best essay on “ What Do 
Toads Eat? ” 

10. Plans Must Become Deeds. 

As soon as the child can- understand your language, 
review the day’s doings with him in the evening. Later, 
encourage the child to tell you all about its day at kinder¬ 
garten or school. Crystallize what has been learned. 
See how many of the things planned for the day have 



Training to Serve 


73 


been done. What has been forgotten? Ideals and plans 
for the future are reached only by doing each day’s little 
duties. Planning to do things is not all that is necessary; 
the deed itself must be done. 

11. Unkind Speeches. 

Confidential talks will enable you to check any tendency 
to repeat unkind remarks about others. So many unkind 
remarks are untrue. In addition to making people un¬ 
happy, they hurt the character of those who repeat them. 
Teach your children to stand up for those whom others 
attempt to injure, and to refuse to listen to ugly or evil 
speeches of any kind. 

12. Conceit. 

Be liberal with praise and sparing of blame. You will 
hear it said that the average adolescent has much too high 
an opinion of himself, and that we must not encourage 
this in children; but there is no danger of making children 
conceited if you tell them their faults too. The truth of 
the matter is, there are so many hard knocks awaiting 
most people before they are fairly out of youth, that con¬ 
ceit gradually disappears even if one starts with a good 
supply. 

13. Love Must Be Expressed. 

Keep the way open to the child’s heart by love-words 
and caresses, even though the dependent age of infancy 
is past. Many a child grows silent and reticent and bash¬ 
ful because there are no love tokens for him to respond 
to, and there is no effort made by his elders to draw out 
his shy words of affection. 



74 


Mothers 9 Problems 


14. The Child Christian. 

Jesus knew children, and he said: “ Of such is the 
kingdom of heaven.” We who have loved and studied 
children know that a child of three can love God; that 
the girls and boys of ten know what it means to accept 
Christ as a personal Saviour and be Christian children, 
controlling temper and selfish tendencies, and growing 
daily in strength of character, because they have laid 
hold on eternal strength, and that the youth who faces life 
with such dreams and visions of conquest, or depths of 
dread and doubt, can find only in God the anchor that 
holds him safe and secure when foundations of faith seem 
to be shaken and new experiences bewilder and confuse. 

15. In the Center of God’s Love. 

“ Standing on the top of Cheviot Hills one day, a little 
son’s hand enclosed in his, a father taught the measure 
of the measureless love of God. Pointing northward 
over Scotland, then southward over England, then east¬ 
ward over the North Sea, then westward over the limit¬ 
less hill and dale, then sweeping his hand and eye over 
the whole circling horizon, he said: ‘Johnny, my boy, 
God’s love is as big as all that.’ 

“ ‘ Why, Father,’ the boy cheerily replied, with spark¬ 
ling eyes, ‘ then we must be in the very middle of it.’ ”— 
Youth's Companion. 

We certainly are in the very middle of it, and as the 
little child’s idea is that he is the center of the life he sees 
about him, he can readily feel himself the center of God’s 
love, and all the effort of parents and teachers could not 
be expended to better result than to keep his thought right 



Training to Serve 


75 


there. He is in the center of God’s universe of love, and 
his work through life is to be work for God. Put this 
love of God, and for God, and this idea of service to 
him, at the core of a child’s nature, and he will be ready 
for his work as God sends it to him through life, and he 
will have joy in the doing of it. 

16. Production of Happiness. 

Someone has said that the reason happiness is so rare 
is that there are too few people producing it. Start your 
children out in life with the definite purpose of produc¬ 
ing some happiness, no matter what else they may do or 
be unable to do. The world is full of sorrowing and 
suffering people, and happiness for self is to be found 
only in service for others. 

REVIEW AND DISCUSSION 

1. What is the character of the first love of the child- 
heart ? 

2. What may occasion the dawning of the first altruistic 
love? 

3. When must a mother restrain her impulse to serve 
in order to help her child? 

4. Explain the difference between self-interest and self¬ 
ishness in the little child. 

5. Explain the importance of courtesy in the home. 

6. How may the spirit of missions be fostered in a 
child ? 

7. Why do children sometimes appear unsympathetic? 

8. How may young children be taught to avoid 
cruelty ? 



76 


Mothers 9 Problems 


9. How can older boys and girls be taught not to be 
cruel ? 

10. How may children be taught God's love, and how 
may a child show his love for God and his desire to serve 
him? 

11. Reference: “ Ethics for Children,” Cabot, p. 5. 



CHAPTER VI 


COURAGE VERSUS FEAR 

1. Fear a Racial Inheritance. 

When one pictures in imagination our cave-dwelling 
ancestors in the midst of their countless enemies, holding 
their right to life only by power of strategy and cunning, 
and constant watchfulness against foes of almost over¬ 
whelming strength and ferocity; when one considers that 
the reckless and overbold were often overcome and elim¬ 
inated, and that the cautious, watchful ones were the ones 
who survived, one might well believe that the instinct of 
fear can never be eradicated from the racial memory. 
And yet the adult of today trusts so fully in the safe¬ 
guards of the present civilization, that the instinctive 
fears of the small members of each oncoming generation 
seem absurd and anachronistic. 

2. Fear Caused by Inexperience. 

As a rule, childhood fears have their origin in igno¬ 
rance or inexperience. As a well-trained child studies and 
develops day by day he is expected to overcome them. 
He should retain a wholesome caution as to trusting the 
strange man or woman, a hesitation to enter dark and 
unguarded places, and a tendency to avoid needless ex¬ 
posure to danger. A certain amount of caution is a safe¬ 
guard to the child, but he must not be allowed to be a 
slave to his fears. 

77 


78 


Mothers 5 Problems 


3. Taught Through Emotions and Imagination. 

Fears allowed to burden the child-heart bring bad 
dreams which still further depress an unduly sensitive 
nervous system; and stories of ghosts and bogie men and 
bad fairies make him go to sleep trembling under the 
covers. His fears must be taken one by one and analyzed. 
Each one must be explained away, or forced out of his 
mind by putting something pleasant in its place. Leave 
a shaded light in the room with a timid child at night, 
rather than have him go to sleep lonely and afraid. 
Carry him about a dark room occasionally, letting him 
touch the familiar objects. Take him out of doors before 
he is put to bed, and let him see the pretty dark with the 
dancing shadows and the bright moon and stars. Remove 
the fear of insects and animals by giving children a love 
for animals, and an interest in the wonderful insect life. 
Storms, lightning, burglars, fire, flood, each must be dealt 
with according to circumstances and the nature of the 
child. Reason in the young child is not developed; he 
must be taught through his emotions, and his confidence 
in mother and imitation of her example. The imagination 
is very vivid, and pictures of terror must be replaced by 
scenes of peace and comfort. 

4. Aid for the Timid Spirit. 

Too often this evidence of fear is the accompaniment 
of a timid, shrinking spirit with a tendency to discourage¬ 
ment and doubt. Unless a nature like this can be in some 
way infused with a spirit of hope, confidence, and courage, 
the child’s life-battles are half lost before he begins. The 
child should be encouraged to believe in himself. 



Courage Versus Fear 


79 


5. Search for Causes. 

Sometimes a child is low-spirited and afraid because it 
is underfed and not properly nourished, or because it is 
really ill. Sometimes it is being frightened by a servant 
or an older child. Sometimes sight or hearing is de¬ 
fective, and long continued efforts to compete with normal 
children have induced a hopeless despondency. Some¬ 
times a child has been found fault with, and nagged, until 
all his originality and stick-to-it-iveness and ambition 
have been scolded out of him. 

Make a determined search for causes. If the primary 
cause of the condition can be removed, the fears, or dis¬ 
couragements, or fits of blues, or mistaken ideas can then 
be met and vanquished one by one. 

Fear of failing at school is sometimes a burden to a sen¬ 
sitive child. Help him in the preparation of his lessons, 
promise to explain things to him, and to help him to 
review a little each day. Cultivate a sweet philosophy 
in the child mind. It is not a life and death matter even 
if he should absolutely fail; all life is before him in which 
to learn; and no one will blame him if he does his best. In 
the meantime busy yourself finding out his inheritance 
and limitations, and give him extra help where he most 
needs it. As he grows older, don’t let him waste his time 
pounding on a stone wall, trying to do things for which 
he is not fitted; switch him off on to something he can do 
and do well. 

6. Self-Confidence Necessary. 

The discouragement of a boy or girl is sometimes short¬ 
lived, but it is a smothering, all-enwrapping gloom while 



80 


Mothers’ Problems 


it lasts. Encourage the child, and help him to self-con¬ 
fidence. He will need an immense amount of this to enable 
him to attack bravely all the obstacles that are sure to 
spring up before him. As he grows older, and experience 
shows him how to overcome danger, and as knowledge 
increases, showing the needlessness of many childish fears, 
he grows wiser and more courageous. Put yourself on 
the mental and emotional level of the child, and explain 
things from that view-point, without impatience or blame. 

7. Suggestion of Inferiority Harmful. 

Do not permit anyone to give your child a sense of in¬ 
feriority. It will not occur to a fearless, democratic child 
that he is poorer or less handsome or less beautifully 
dressed or less brilliant or less lovable than another child 
unless this is suggested to him. Let him go out into his 
little world undaunted and undismayed by any hampering 
feeling of lack in himself. Praise the gifts he has and 
help him to develop his special talents to the utmost, and 
do not refer to his defects except as it may help him to 
overcome them. 

8. The Menace of Continued Fear. 

Fear is real to a child, and, continued, is a deadly 
menace to health of body, mind, and soul. Fear increases 
the suprarenal secretion in the child’s body and raises the 
blood pressure, and a continued nervous tension of this 
kind is as bad for the child as though he were being forced 
to do hard work far beyond his strength. Few parents 
fully appreciate the power of fear to injure the body and 
mind of the child. It is impossible to estimate the harm 
done to children by tales of hobgoblins who will come 



Courage Versus Fear 


81 


in the night to harm them, or of the policeman who will 
carry them away if they are bad. A child can be driven 
almost insane by terror. It is inexcusable for anyone to 
cause such suffering. It is probable that many cases of 
hopeless insanity have had their beginnings in some of 
these severe brain agitations. 

9. Fears Not Made Known. 

A child will sometimes suffer in an agony of fear and 
will allow himself to be considered sulky or moody or dis¬ 
obedient rather than let it be known he is afraid. A 
parent who has made a study of his child can often read 
signs and actions, and can conduct himself accordingly. 

Little children must be made to feel that mother is an 
unfailing refuge. They are sometimes afraid of such 
absurd things; one must expect it. Each day brings new 
and bewildering experiences; the most ordinary things 
of life sometimes seem terrifying to a little child. Let it 
be sure always of sympathy and help, so that it will not 
be afraid or ashamed to let its fears be known. Encour¬ 
age a child to use his powers as they develop so that he 
may have confidence in his ability to defend himself; and 
teach him that, as he grows, he will understand more and 
more that many of his fears are groundless. 

10. Subconscious Encouragement. 

The young child can be helped by seeing that his last 
thoughts at night are of strength and endeavor and suc¬ 
cess. Put into his heart over and over each night this 
fixed idea of success and growing strength tomorrow. 
Project your thought into his subconscious life as he falls 
asleep, and whisper to him what he must think and feel 


F 



82 


Mothers 9 Problems 


and do the next day in order to win. These thoughts 
will dominate his subconscious spirit during sleep and 
influence his brain and nervous system when he awakes. 

11. Use Vital Force to Win. 

Do not let the child use nervous energy mourning over 
failures or disappointments; but show him how to put 
every bit of vitality to use in preventing the same thing 
happening again. Don’t let him look forward with dread 
to tomorrow if he has formed that habit. Fill today so 
full of pleasure that he will forget there is to be a to¬ 
morrow, and help him in time to believe that he will be 
strong enough to take care of tomorrow when it comes. 

12. Abundant Praise Necessary. 

Do not allow other members of the family to criticize 
a child who is easily discouraged. He should be praised 
and encouraged instead. Some children require a great 
deal of praise; give all the praise that can conscientiously 
be given so long as this crutch is needed, while at the same 
time you are teaching the child how to live without it. 
Many children have been hampered throughout life because 
of frequent reminders of physical or other peculiarities. 

13. Avoid Needless Disappointments. 

Do not disappoint your children needlessly. Just a 
little rearrangement of adult plans sometimes means all 
the difference in the world to a child. But if the child 
must be deprived of some expected pleasure, explain the 
circumstances to him. If he is shown that it is unavoid¬ 
able, and is helped to be brave and unselfish in submitting 
to the inevitable, there is then no bitterness to rankle in 



Courage Versus Fear 


83 


his heart, and he will be just a little stronger to bear the 
next disappointment. 

14. Courage a Habit of Mind. 

Teach the child that his life is not simply a succession 
of days, with duties or pleasures that fill them in hap¬ 
hazard fashion, but that God is watching his struggles, 
and has a wonderful plan for his life all lovingly thought 
out, and will help him to follow this plan if he prays con¬ 
stantly for guidance, and does his very best to do as God 
tells him to do; and that difficulties are not intended to 
discourage him, but to make him stronger to think and 
work, and to put snap and vigor into him, that in days 
to come he can conquer even greater things. A little 
fence, or a high fence, a pile of stones or a hill, or even 
a mountain, are nothing to an eagle; he can fly over them 
all. Just so the annoyances of every-day living are very 
small obstacles to a bright, courageous spirit that can 
look out and up and over and beyond them. 

Courage is more a habit of mind than most people 
fancy. Some attack life as a giant snow-plow attacks a 
big drift. Everything gives way before their indomitable 
pluck and energy. Hope and courage are qualities that 
need exercise, and often vigorous exercise, to keep them 
alive and in fighting trim. It is not simply an accident 
that some people are always serene and calm and smiling, 
and can greet another’s tale of woes with words of cheer 
and comfort. They have probably fought hard for that 
calm serenity and cheerful smile, through days of weary 
battling with discouragement and disappointment. But 
they have conquered. It can be done. It takes grit, but 
it pays. 



84 


Mothers 9 Problems 


15. Mothers Who Worry. 

Few mothers realize that lack of confidence and cour¬ 
age in the children can often be traced to habits of worry 
and anxiety in the mother. The mother who is afraid of 
this, or worried about that, or is sure so and so is about 
to happen, has taken off the keen edge of childish hope 
and cheerfulness before it has had a chance to brighten 
the life or shape the character. Mothers who worry all 
the day long do the hardest work life can give to anyone; 
and then they wonder why they are tired out when night 
comes, and why life seems so joyless, and why their 
children are the least satisfactory of any in the neighbor¬ 
hood. They hold up some tiny mite of discomfort so close 
to the mind’s eye that all the sunshine of God’s presence 
is blotted out, and then they shiver in the darkness they 
have brought upon themselves. Mothers who have little 
children to be influenced by every thought, and word, and 
deed of theirs have no right to indulge in moaning or 
complaining or foreboding. 

16. Child’s Fear of Parents. 

There is one form of fear that should never be allowed 
in the home, and that is a child’s fear of its parents. It is 
inexcusable, barbarous, brutish, for any man or woman 
to overshadow a child’s life by fear of personal injury 
or of over-severe condemnation. Such parents deserve to 
live to be met face to face by their children, grown men or 
women, who will tell them that for such bravery and 
courage as they have gained they are in no wise indebted 
to their parents, but that they have had to secure these by 
hard battling against the unnatural fear that might have 



Courage Versus Fear 


85 


made cowards and liars of them, and utterly wrecked 
their lives. 

The mere fact that a man and woman are born one 
generation ahead of other men or women in race progres¬ 
sion, gives them not the slightest right to enslave the body 
or crush the spirit of the children entrusted to them to 
train. As civilization advances, the status of the child in 
the home will be viewed more and more as that of a 
valued guest entrusted to the care of the older generation. 
He is there for only eighteen or twenty years that quickly 
fly away, and then the child, having reached maturity, the 
two generations should be one in sympathy and love. 
Happy the child whose parents are the dearest friends of 
his adult life. 

17. Courage an Asset. 

A brave, courageous spirit is an asset to any child. One 
of nature’s wise provisions is that in the glow of adoles¬ 
cence most of the fears of childhood are forgotten, and 
the soul is fortified by bright visions of future conquests. 
Better the courage of ignorance of the trial of battle than 
no courage at all. With each day’s experience will come 
a gradual understanding of how to conquer life’s difficul¬ 
ties, and fortunate the child who faces the future without 
fear. 


REVIEW AND DISCUSSION 

1. Why is the instinct of fear so strong in children? 

2. What may be some of the causes of fear and worry 
in a child? 

3. How may a child’s fear of the dark be overcome? 



86 


Mothers 9 Problems 


4. How may a child be helped to overcome childhood 
fears? 

5. What may be some of the bad effects of continued 
fear in a child? 

6. How may older children be helped to have self- 
confidence and courage? 

7. What is the duty of mothers in regard to worry and 
discouragement ? 

8. Should fear of parents have any place in the home¬ 
training? If so, why? If not, why not? 

9. How can courage be made a habit of mind ? 

10. References: “ Moral Muscle,” Atkins; “ Man’s 
Value to Society,” Hillis, Chap. 14. 



CHAPTER VII 

TRUTH AND HONESTY 

1. The Golden River. 

“ Mary Ann’s child is a sad little liar,” said Aunt Myra 
as she put her spectacles on the mantel. 

“ Why, Myra, how you talk! ” said Uncle Sim. 

“Yes, and how that child talks! Now don’t defend 
her to me. I know you think everything she does and 
says is all right, but her talk today has set me to thinking 
something is altogether wrong with Mary Ann’s teach¬ 
ing. 

“ I went over to Mary Ann’s intending to set a while, 
and saw Sarah Jane coming in the gate with her skirt full 
of flowers and woods truck, such as she’s always filling 
the house with. 

“ * I s’pose you got them things on Snake Hill,’ I says. 

“ 4 Oh, I’ve been up to the Golden River, Aunt Myra, 
past the glacier on the mountain,’ says she, pointing up 
Snake Hill, 4 and I’ve brought this to show Mother,’ she 
says, showing a lump of something in her hand, 4 and then 
I’m going to put it in the wooden chest and keep it 
all my life,’ she says, 4 for not a mortal more goes up the 
Golden River,’ or some nonsense like that, she says. 

“ 4 Sarah Jane,’ I says solemnly, 4 I’ve lived on this 
farm fifty-five years, and I know there ain’t no such a 
thing as a glacier on Snake Hill, and Mud Creek is the 
only stream within walking distance of where we stand. 

87 


88 


Mothers’ Problems 


It’s my belief you’re telling me an out and out lie. Were 
you up on Snake Hill ? ’ 

“ 4 You can see for yourself, Aunt Myra/ she says, 
4 how I got this from the glacier. How could I get it if 
I hadn’t been up there ? And the Golden River was sing¬ 
ing and dancing in the sunshine/ she says, and she ran 
in the front door her mother always has standing wide 
open, letting the sunshine fade her best carpets, and she 
clattered away up-stairs singing, as if she hadn’t just 
been breaking one of the commandments all to pieces. 

“ Mary Ann was in the kitchen, and I says to her, 
4 You’ll certainly have to discipline that child, Mary Ann/ 

44 4 Discipline/ she says, springing up. 4 What child, 
Sarah ? ’ 

44 4 Yes, Sarah Jane. She’s been lying to me/ 

44 4 What do you mean, Aunt Myra ? ’ she says, a setting 
down, her face white. 

44 4 1 mean just what I say/ says I, 4 she insisted she’d 
been up some Golden River, when I told her positively 
there wasn’t no such a place on this farm, and she says 
she brought something from a glacier for you to look at.’ 

44 4 Oh, that’s all right/ says Mary Ann, laughing, 
4 that’s a story-’ 

44 4 Of course it’s a story/ I says, 4 it’s an out and out 
lie, and the child ought to be shut up on bread and water, 
or she’ll never be able to tell the truth again/ I says. 

44 4 You don’t understand, Aunt Myra/ she says. 

44 4 1 understand enough to know the child is in danger 
of eternal destruction/ I says, 4 and if you are encourag¬ 
ing her in it, I don’t see no hope for you either,’ I says. 

44 4 Listen,’ she says, 4 it’s a story out of a book her 
Sunday school teacher read her, and she liked it so much 





Truth and Honesty 


89 


I had to read it to her again yesterday, and she can’t 
think of anything else but that. She just lives in the tales 
of the fairies and goblins and little people of the woods,’ 
she says. 

Mary Ann,’ I says, ‘ you know well enough there 
ain’t no little people in them woods, for you’ve walked 
through them every week of your life, and I must say 
I never thought I’d live to see a niece of mine, and a Sun¬ 
day school teacher, a sister of the minister, encouraging 
deliberate lies in their children, to their everlasting sor¬ 
row, and the disgrace of the whole church. I don’t 
know what the world is coming to! ’ and I walked out 
the back door and come straight home. What we’re 
going to do about it I don’t know. Mary Ann is en¬ 
couraging the child to walk the broad and pleasant road 
to perdition.” 

“ Tut, tut, Myra,” said Uncle Sim, who had listened in 
silence. 

“ No, ’tisn’t ‘ tut, tut ’ neither, but it’s no use to ask 
any understanding sympathy from you, you’re too 
wrapped up in that child, and nobody could convince you 
that there is anything wrong with her,” and Aunt Myra 
closed the door into the kitchen. 

(1) Some Mothers Understand. 

It is fortunate for most little children that the number 
of mothers who understand is greater than the number 
of Aunt Myras who insist always upon hard, cold, gray, 
unadorned facts at all times in a child’s life. It is one of 
the inalienable rights of childhood to live for a time beside 
the Golden River. Here they build the foundations for 
their future castles in Spain, and, if they are wisely taught, 



90 


Mothers’ Problems 


store in their hearts a little of the rainbow-glory of that 
sunny land, to brighten the gray of adult years. 

(2) Confusion of the Dream World and the Real. 

Some mothers are greatly concerned because the glamor 
of the dream life clings to the mind of the child at in¬ 
convenient times, and tends to cause exaggeration, mis¬ 
statements, and sometimes really false statements. These 
must be analyzed from the child’s point of view, and 
the truth pointed out. Exaggeration must be discour¬ 
aged, and a plain statement of the facts in the case 
obtained. One little girl given to fanciful stories of 
strange occurrences, was given a blank book, and told to 
write in it all the beautiful fancies, her encounters with 
strange people, and her wonderful adventures. In an¬ 
other little book she was asked to write a plain record 
of the day’s doings. She poured out her heart in the first, 
and learned to base the speech of ordinary life with others 
on the practical day-book. This cured her entirely of 
exaggeration, and drew the line clearly between truth 
and fiction; yet her heart was not starved, nor her free¬ 
dom to think in leaps and bounds in her world of fancy 
at all curtailed. 

(3) Tangled Truth and Fiction. 

When imagination is picturing life in vivid colors to 
encourage and stimulate the child in his ceaseless labors 
to master the tasks set before him, and the lines between 
the dream world and the real are scarcely discernible, 
the mother should be patient. She should use her mature 
vision-producing power to bring to her mind the scenes 
that charm the child. She should help him to untangle 



Truth and Honesty 


91 


truth and fiction, and be appreciative of the difficulties 
under which he labors. Do not crush and discourage him 
by faultfinding. 

2. Children Must Not Be Deceived. 

Love of truth and absence of intent to deceive are not 
so much inborn as they are a result of correct training 
from the beginning. It is necessary to maintain abso¬ 
lutely frank and open dealings with even the youngest 
infant. It is surprising how soon a child can detect 
deceit—long before he can speak, sometimes. A child 
must grow up in an atmosphere of truth if he is to be 
true. Mothers who deceive their children make liars 
and cheats of them. Few women would deliberately plan 
to do anything like this, but women who have little chil¬ 
dren to train cannot afford to trifle with truth. 

3. Sympathy and Kindness Needed. 

Keep a child from fear, keep his confidence and faith. 
Have sympathy with the inevitable accidents that occur 
when little muscles, not yet trained or strong, drop dishes 
and toys, and sometimes the treasured possessions of his 
elders. Do not startle the child by severity into deny¬ 
ing an accident. The love and confidence of your boy or 
girl are worth more than many ornaments. 

A child cannot always express the truth on the spur of 
the moment. A child’s mind is a kaleidoscope of new 
impressions, and he forgets easily. Sometimes when he 
is accused suddenly of something, he denies having done 
it, really thinking that he has not. When he remembers 
afterward that he is guilty, in the face of anger and 
threatened punishment, he is afraid to confess, and repeats 



92 


Mothers 9 Problems 


the lie. This is sometimes the first step in a series of de¬ 
ceits, and may be forced upon him by unwise management. 

4. Forestall Destructive Investigation. 

Do not blame the child for accidents that should be 
charged to the natural wear and tear of education. Use 
foreknowledge to forestall investigations. Tell him what 
is inside of the rattle or ball or clock, show him what 
makes the pillow soft and the leather cushion firm. Keep 
at least one lesson ahead of him in his education. You 
will be obliged to study and think and watch, for nature 
is urging him swiftly along much faster than any mother 
can realize. 

5. Lying Cannot Be Tolerated. 

A child must be trained to have moral courage. Do 
not make him a coward. When he makes a mistake, 
put yourself on his mental level and help him to make 
good. Don’t stand off as a judge, but make him feel that 
he and you together are judging the action, and together 
will decide upon what shall be done about it. You will 
be surprised sometimes by the sense of justice, and the 
clarity of vision, of ordinary boys and girls, if you put 
a matter squarely before them to decide wholly on the 
merits or demerits of the case. And, if you have skill 
in presenting the ideas, they can see very clearly that 
a lie cannot be tolerated for a moment; that there must 
be truth in all life, whether of the home, the school, the 
playground, the business world, the nation, or the uni¬ 
verse of God. God has kept his word with the human 
family when he promised “ day and night, seedtime and 
harvest should not cease.” We therefore know that 



Truth and Honesty 


93 


sleep will follow fatigue, and food for all living crea¬ 
tures will come as the result of nature’s preparation and 
of the farmers’ work in the fields. 

Farmers and manufacturers, merchants and laborers, 
teachers, parents, and statesmen work together for the 
good of the nation. Unless men and women could depend 
upon one another’s truth and honesty, we could not 
maintain a government or home or schools for a day. 
Business could not be carried on, and there would be 
no pleasure or comfort in life. 

Our boys and girls are growing up to take their places 
in a world of system and trust and honor. Some people 
are not trustworthy or honorable, and these make no 
end of trouble. It is wise to determine to be one of 
those upon whom others can depend; to be true in thought, 
word, and deed. 

6 . Motive for Lie Must Be Sought. 

When a child deliberately lies, from motives of self¬ 
ishness or greed, each case calls for special deliberation 
and treatment. The parents may be wholly to blame, 
through mistakes in early training—or it may be wilful 
sin on the part of the child. It is wise to seek to discover 
the motive for the lie before fixing the blame, and then 
to adjust matters with the thought in mind, not of the 
deed, but of the future good of the child. 

7. Nature Helps in Training. 

As early childhood glides into middle and later child¬ 
hood, nature takes a hand in the training. The wild 
flights of fancy are tamed, the tendency to exaggeration 
is lessened, and many children become painfully accurate 



94 


Mothers’ Problems 


for a time, even about trifles, correcting big brother’s 
statement that he stood a foot from the curb, as half an 
inch out of the way, and saying eagerly when Mother 
says she brought half a dozen magazines down-stairs, 
“ Oh, there were seven, Mother; I counted them.” 

Now is the time to fix habits of truth and accuracy. 
Establish a frank, open, confidential spirit in the home. 
A child of this age has a strong sense of justice and 
fairness—he can readily understand that there can be 
no justice without truth and honesty; and justice for all 
demands truth and fairness from all. 

It is only justice to maid, parents, brothers, and sisters, 
to be punctual to meals and at all times, so as not to rob 
others of their time. It is only justice and honesty to be 
thorough in school work, making solid foundations for 
future knowledge. It is only just and honest to refrain 
from taking or using anything, even a pen or a penny, 
a towel or handkerchief or book that is not one’s own. 
It is only justice to be sure to do all one’s own daily tasks 
so that nothing is left to burden some one else. It is 
only justice to others to be cheerful and obliging. 

8. Mine and Thine. 

A child must be made to understand strictly, when 
only a baby, that some things are baby’s, and all other 
things belong to other people, and that he must not touch 
what belongs to another without permission. The child 
comes into a consciousness of his own existence with 
objects and persons about him. He eats what is given 
him or what he finds before him with no thought of 
whether it belongs to him or not. He picks up whatever 
he sees with no idea that he may be taking what does 



Truth and Honesty- 


95 


not belong to him. Unless the small child is given cer¬ 
tain things of his own and taught to keep hands off other 
things, though they may be round about him, it is im¬ 
possible for him to get into his brain the thought of 
“ mine ” and “ thine.” This can be taught easily, for the 
old instinct of getting and keeping which our cave an¬ 
cestors had to develop in strong fashion if they would 
survive in their age of violence, is strong in the young 
child. He will defend his right to his own playthings 
vigorously against the vandal hands of another child, 
despite the embarrassed exclamations of his young 
mother, hugging his ball close in his arms with a scowl 
on his baby face. He will understand more than you 
think possible when you say, “ The ball is baby’s, the muff 
is Mother’s. Baby can have his ball, but he must not 
touch Mother’s muff.” 

Many adults act as though children possessed some 
supernatural power of acquiring knowledge. Children 
must be taught from babyhood up that there is a certain 
standard to which they must conform, and, when this is 
observed in the home by every one, when Johnnie’s be¬ 
longings are sacred to Johnnie’s use and disposal, and 
he is taught to use only his own things, there is nothing 
surer than that he will grow up with a sense of property 
rights that will stand him in good stead later in life. If 
care is taken to insist that each child is the undisputed 
owner of his toys and books, this makes it possible for 
him to be generous in lending them, and keeps the care¬ 
less child from causing havoc among the toys of his more 
careful brother. Habits of thrift and order are encour¬ 
aged in the child in the effort to care for his own posses¬ 
sions, and a constant regard for the property rights of 



96 


Mothers 9 Problems 


others is a fine foundation for honest citizenship in the 
future. 

9. Honesty in Business Dealings. 

Accuracy in money matters should be insisted upon. 
When a child spends money for you, have him put down, 
on a piece of paper, “ Money received, money spent, bal¬ 
ance to be returned,” and see that the amounts tally 
exactly. This lays the foundation for exactness and 
honesty in business dealings. If you want to give him a 
portion of the change, give it to him after the settlement 
is made, but never allow him to keep the change without 
an accounting. 

It is wise to give a child, if possible, a certain small 
allowance for personal expenses each month, that he may 
learn how to spend, how to save, and how to give away 
a portion of his income. Whatever it includes, let it be 
wholly the property of the child, and let him use his 
own choice and judgment in spending it. Put some re¬ 
strictions upon the proper apportioning of it, but make 
it possible for the child to develop some business acumen 
in spending it. See that a small but certain percentage is 
put in his Lord’s Box for church, missions, and charity, 
and show him how to find joy in spending this for the 
Lord. See that except for legitimate and unforeseen 
emergencies the allowance is never drawn in advance, and 
that a small portion, if only a penny a week, is put aside 
in a savings account. 

10. Everything Must Be Paid For. 

Teach a child from the first day that he can under¬ 
stand even a glimmering of it, the thought that everything 



Truth and Honesty 


97 


he receives in this life must be paid for either by him or 
by another. During childhood, his home and food and 
clothes and watch-care are to be paid for by love and 
gratitude and obedience to his parents, and to God who 
makes it possible for the parents to have these things to 
give. Instruction at school must be balanced by faith¬ 
ful study. To keep his health he must care for his body, 
give it food, and warmth and cleanliness and sleep; 
to form habits of right living he must make conscious 
effort to do right and to refrain from doing wrong. 

As soon as possible he should be encouraged to earn 
money, a fair price being paid for real work, that he may 
understand the value of labor. Teach him to assume 
with cheerfulness such tasks as fall to him day by day, 
and to be fair and square and honest in his dealings 
with his small world, and he will be fairly started on his 
way to become a substantial and reliable citizen of the 
Republic. 

REVIEW AND DISCUSSION 

1. How may children be helped to distinguish between 
truth and fancy ? 

2. What must be the atmosphere of the home if chil¬ 
dren are to be taught to be true ? 

3. How do fear of punishment and over-severity mili¬ 
tate against a habit of truthfulness in a child ? 

4. Why is a child sometimes liable to tell an untruth 
unintentionally ? 

5. Give some reasons why lying cannot be tolerated in 
the world. 

6. What is the attitude of children toward fairness and 
justice? 

G 



98 


Mothers’ Problems 


7. How should parents and teachers treat a child who 
lies? 

8. How does nature aid in teaching honesty and truth¬ 
fulness in later childhood? 

9. How soon should a child be taught the difference 
between “ mine ” and “ thine ” ? 

10. What should be the attitude of the family on the 
question of personal property? 

11. How may a child be taught accuracy in money 
matters ? 

12. How may a child be taught the value of labor? 

13. Is it ever necessary to lie ? 

14. References: “The Will of God/’ Wright, p. 127; 
“ Is a Lie Ever Justifiable ? ” Henry Gay Trumbull. 



CHAPTER VIII 

DEVELOPING SELF-CONTROL 

1. Intensity Under Control. 

There would seem to be a vast difference between the 
violent maniac in his padded cell and an impassioned 
public speaker to whose words an attentive crowd gives 
eager assent. But, if the two men could be placed side 
by side, it would be seen that gestures, glances, and facial 
expressions are strangely alike—the difference being that 
the madman is like a runaway locomotive, and the speaker 
is like one in which, though running at almost the same 
speed, the engineer is looking out of the cab window 
with his hand on the throttle of the engine. 

2. Anger Temporary Insanity. 

As one looks into the face of an angry man one feels 
that he has taken his hand temporarily off the throttle 
and his engine is running wild. The only difference be¬ 
tween him and the maniac is that he may be able to regain 
control, while with the madman control has passed out 
of the hands, perhaps for all time. 

3. Self-Control Brings Power. 

In the days when the warrior was the most highly 
esteemed of all men, and when might was considered 
right, the wise man wrote: “ He that is slow to anger is 
better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit 

99 



100 


Mothers 9 Problems 


than he that taketh a city.” During the centuiies which 
have since elapsed, men have learned the truth of these 
words. As civilization has advanced, a greater propor¬ 
tion of the people have found that self-control brings 
greater power than unbridled wrath. When Christ gave 
to the world the Golden Rule and the command to love 
one’s neighbor as one’s self—when he said that love and 
not might was henceforth to rule—men began to under¬ 
stand why the tongue must be bridled and the hand with¬ 
held from violence. The world of today looks with 
disfavor or contempt upon the man or woman who gives 
way to anger. 

4. Anger Rooted in Selfishness. 

The roots of anger are grounded deep in selfishness, 
and selfish tendencies are necessarily part of the inherit¬ 
ance of everyone born into this world. Our remote an¬ 
cestors, who were compelled to live in continuous strug¬ 
gle for existence, for possessions, for home and family, 
gave way to primitive rage as their enemies closed in 
upon them, or robbed them of dearly prized possessions, 
and laid deep in the racial memory the foundations for 
anger and consideration of self. 

The persistent efforts of the newly born babe to ob¬ 
tain nourishment, and, later, the little one’s calm appro¬ 
priation of every toy within reach, and his vociferous 
protest against division of spoils with his small compan¬ 
ions; the utter disregard of the untrained small child 
for the comfort or rights of any person about him; and 
the instinct of the adolescent to throw off all restraint 
and live for self alone, are eloquent in proclaiming the 
influence of the old beliefs that to insure the continued 



Developing Self-Control 


101 


existence of the individual, he must be selfish and must 
assert his rights. 

5. Early Discipline. 

But the fortunate child early feels the effects of help¬ 
ful discipline. The vigorous yells of the baby from his 
downy bed for someone to attend his majesty are a sign 
of an awakening desire for domination. When he has 
been unwisely indulged, and wants a repetition of the 
attention he has demanded, he sometimes finds his gentle 
call is disregarded; and then he exerts all his energy to 
let the world know that he is awake and unattended. 
He grows red in the face, and we fear he may do some 
harm to himself. He is showing what we call temper. 
The wise mother gives him food at the proper time, and 
makes him comfortable, and then lovingly but firmly 
gives him to understand that mother is in command, and 
baby has his first lesson in self-control. 

6. Indulgence Unwise. 

The mother who allows the little child to get what he 
wants by crying for it because he has been ill, and must 
not be “ crossed,” generally has to suffer for it, until she 
comes to her senses and realizes that successive fits of 
crying, and the gaining of things in themselves unwise 
for the child, will be as injurious in the end as one good 
cry in the beginning. She must not have her judgment 
warped by a sickly sentiment. The foundation of all the 
child’s efficiency in life is self-control. 

7. Self-Control Must Be Gained. 

Happy the child who is given instruction day by day 
concerning the rights of others, the necessity for un- 




102 


Mothers’ Problems 


selfishness, and the uselessness of flying into a rage, and 
who comes to understand that more can be accomplished 
by love than by anger. He may have many a battle yet 
before him, but he has learned his first lessons, and will 
be saved from many of the pitfalls that are ready to en¬ 
gulf the undisciplined individual. 

8. Body Injured by Anger. 

The efifects upon the body of a bad temper are some¬ 
times disastrous. A violent fit of rage in a child con¬ 
tracts the muscles, swells the arteries, and flushes the face 
as though he were staggering under an immense weight. 
If this is often repeated the child is courting the begin¬ 
nings of arterio-sclerosis; that is, he is using up his 
arteries and shortening their life, just when he should be 
building them up. Many a man has cut off years from his 
life for the doubtful pleasure of yielding to anger. 

9. Causes of Bad Temper. 

Other manifestations of bad temper, impatience, rude¬ 
ness, intolerance, jealousy, envy, whining, worrying, 
shirking of duties, often have their origin in ill health, 
which in turn may often be traced to selfishness, though 
sometimes it may be rooted in ignorance. 

(1) Protein Poisoning. 

A child may be irritable because its diet is unsuitable, 
causing indigestion and auto-intoxication. Many chil¬ 
dren will show a remarkable improvement in sunniness 
of disposition if all meat, eggs, and beans are cut from 
the diet for a time, and they are fed on oatmeal, whole 



Developing Self-Control 


103 


wheat, blanc mange, nuts, fruits, and vegetables. The 
daily bath and care for the body must be as rigidly ob¬ 
served as in infancy, and nothing must be allowed to 
interfere with long hours of sleep. 

(2) Insufficient Nourishment. 

Sometimes the child is underfed, and no one who is 
being slowly starved to death can be blamed for being 
a bit peevish about it. Children need plenty of food. 
Mothers sometimes say in a chiding tone, “ Why, you 
eat as much as your father! ” If the father is nearing 
fifty and is fat and overweight, and stays in his office 
nine hours a day, he is shortening his life if he is eating 
as much as the boy of fourteen! Children need plenty of 
good bread and butter, and don’t skimp the butter! 
Eating at all hours is to be condemned on general prin¬ 
ciples, but the boy of twelve who has studied and worked 
and played from seven in the morning, is utterly hollow 
at three o’clock. It doesn’t occur to him that he should 
be satisfied with breakfast and luncheon—he can digest a 
good meal at three, and be ready for another at six-thirty. 
And the girl who is growing rapidly and feels languid 
and listless, and is unable to eat much breakfast, and 
who lunches on a charlotte russe and a reception flake, 
will sometimes eat a full meal if it is ready for her when 
she comes home exhausted from school at two-thirty, and 
she will cease to have “ nerves ” when she has proper 
nourishment. 

(3) Physical Defects. 

Sometimes the child is worn out in body, mind, and 
soul by trying to see things with imperfect eyes, or by 



104 


Mothers’ Problems 


listening, listening day after day, hearing only imper¬ 
fectly the sounds and words that are plainly heard by 
other children. Have eyes, ears, nose, and throat exam¬ 
ined by a competent physician, and give your children a 
chance to do their best. Sometimes the teeth are decayed, 
and tiny doses of poison are being swallowed with fatal 
regularity every day. 

(4) Mental Irritation. 

Sometimes a child is being tyrannized over by older 
children either at home or at school. Don’t let one child 
use another child’s possessions without permission. ■ See 
that the younger children are treated fairly in games and 
in all the discipline of the home. A sense of being treated 
with injustice always rankles in a child’s heart and leads 
to display of temper. 

10. Comparative Values. 

Train your child to see things in their true perspective 
so far as he is able. Some things in his life are very 
important, and some things are not at all important. 
Wise parents will try to give the girl a correct idea of 
the comparative value of things, so that she can guage 
her thought and conduct accordingly. She is taught that 
her clothes are of infinitely less importance than the 
symmetrical development of her body; that her worldly 
possessions are altogether secondary to the intellectual, 
moral, and spiritual attainments possible as the days go 
by; and that the gratification of a whim or selfish de¬ 
sire is not to be considered for a moment if it will inter¬ 
fere with her growth in gentleness and honor, self-control 
and power to be and to do. 



Developing Self-Control 


105 


11. Brain Control. 

The foremost idea that should underlie the care of a 
young child should be that, from the moment of birth, 
nothing should be done for him that he can do for 
himself. In order to train the brain, and establish trunk 
lines of communication with the muscles, let the tiny baby 
help in his dressing and bathing and in the care of the 
nursery. Put the little hand upon brush and soap and 
towels, gown and shoes, and go through the routine each 
day as though the child were really bathing and dressing 
himself, meanwhile naming the article and the action. 
Gradually as the muscles gain power, they will find the 
brain all ready to act in harmony with them, and im¬ 
portant time will be gained in the education of the child. 

When the toys are picked up and returned to their 
box or shelf, put the baby’s hand upon them, lift the toy 
and put it into place. Help the little hand put the picture- 
book away. Carry the child about and let his hand grasp 
the nightgown, let him pat the little pillow and lay back 
the blanket. Let him lower the shade with your hand 
upon his. Let the tiny hands help with each movement 
in putting on shirt and gown and shoes, wrap and bonnet. 

If this procedure is followed, you will awake one day 
to the fact that, with a delighted sparkle in his eye, the 
baby is reaching out for his shoes and buttoning them up; 
that he knows where his toys belong and runs to put 
them away; that he can smooth the tiny sheets and put 
away the towels. In short, that his muscles are under 
control, and he has made for himself a tiny place among 
other human beings, and is doing his share of the world’s 
work, while establishing brain control over his body. 



106 


Mothers’ Problems 


12. Poise. 

There is a definite connection between muscular con¬ 
trol, poise of mind, and moral equilibrium. When your 
boy impatiently drums on the table, or squirms and fidgets 
in his chair, or the girl taps the floor with the toe of her 
shoe or bites her nails, there is something more the matter 
than appears on the surface. Every purposeless move¬ 
ment uses force that might better be used for something 
worth while. 

Uneasiness, discontent, impatience, the discomfort of 
jangling nerves, are expressed in restlessness and auto¬ 
matic movements. You can see all this exemplified in the 
extreme state, in the insane at any state hospital. Mus¬ 
cular control has been lost, and the extent of the brain 
disease can be traced by the flabby or rigid muscles, the 
frantic or automatic movements, or the apathy of huddled 
figures refusing to move or speak. The intelligent con¬ 
trol of the muscles helps to develop the brain, as in turn 
a reliable brain gives sure muscular control. 

13. Clear Thinking. 

Help your baby and little child to think clearly; answer 
his questions in as few words as possible. Give him only 
one clear-cut idea at a time and help him to gain repose 
of soul. To the young child activity is necessary, but in¬ 
cessant uncontrolled activity in older children leads to 
nervous exhaustion. The child needs proper periods of 
complete relaxation. 

14. The Fighting Instinct. 

When the fighting instinct begins to display itself, the 
boy and the girl, too, can be trained to wrestle and box, 




Developing Self-Control 


107 


so that they may know how to use muscular force if 
necessary against a bully or thief; they can be taught to 
use the pugilistic impulses that rise within them against 
bad habits and hard lessons, in the rivalry generated in 
team work, in athletics and contests, in defending the 
weak and helpless. 

15. Mastery Comes With Self-Control. 

The first thing a wise person asks when he seats him¬ 
self to learn how to drive a new car is “ How do you 
stop it ? ” The boy or girl with a quick temper must be 
trained from babyhood up to control it. The children 
who are born with a dynamic temper must be trained to 
use the strength and vigor behind the temper, and to 
control the mighty forces that have the power to wreck 
character and life or to accomplish great things. The 
grasp of thought that sees the wrong and injustice and 
greed and vice of the world, and the wave of righteous 
indignation that prompts vigorous measures to right the 
wrong and relieve the suffering, executive ability, tireless 
energy, and indomitable will-power—these are often the 
inheritance of the child with a temper. 

16. The Power of True Culture. 

The boy who has been taught to think twice, once for 
himself and once for others, before he acts; who has 
learned to smooth the frown off his face before he appears 
at the breakfast-table; who has been taught to be quietly 
courteous to everyone in the home, at school, in hotel, 
train, or street-car; who has learned that the new opinions, 
upon which he so prides himself, may after all not be as 
valuable as those of people who have thought longer and 




108 


Mothers’ Problems 


more to the purpose about things than he has; the boy 
who has traveled and studied and thought enough to 
know that there are other people, other homes, other 
schools, other churches, other states, and other countries 
in the world, and that he occupies but a small place in the 
great universe of God, and that the only right to con¬ 
sideration which he may ever legitimately claim is the 
right to try to make the world a little brighter and a little 
better for his being in it; this boy becomes the man who 
has a wide outlook, who has poise, balance, steadiness, 
who will be faithful to his employer or considerate to his 
employees, who will do his part toward righting the 
wrongs of the world, and who will be master of himself, 
and under God master of his own life. 

The cultured girl will have learned breadth of life, 
patience under annoyances, calmness, tenderness, serenity, 
tolerance for the opinions of other women; she will have 
the ability to turn away from unimportant things, and 
will save all her strength, energy, and talent to use upon 
things that are worth while. She will be the mother who 
will not be disturbed by trifles, who knows boy-life and 
girl-life, and is the companion, teacher, and friend of her 
children. 

17. Those Who Rule the World. 

The children’s children of these who have learned to 
rule the spirit are born with a reinforced tendency to 
self-control for the sake of others. Thus it is that genera¬ 
tions of cultured people are helped by the efforts of their 
cultured ancestors. The children with a temper who 
have learned to control it become the men and women 
who rule the world. 



Developing Self-Control 


109 


REVIEW AND DISCUSSION 

1. What is the difference between a maniac and an im¬ 
passioned public speaker, as both are gesticulating and 
speaking with abandon? 

2. How is an angry man like one insane? 

3. What are some of the causes of bad temper? 

4. What are some of the manifestations of bad temper? 

5. What are some of the results on body and mind of 
fits of anger? 

6. How may a baby be early given brain-control of 
muscles ? 

7. What are some of the manifestations of lack of 
brain-control ? 

8. Why must boys and girls have periods of relaxation 
in the midst of their constant activities? 

9. How may the fighting instinct be guarded and 
trained ? 

10. What are some of the results in a well-ordered life 
of poise and self-control ? 



CHAPTER IX 


A CHILD’S HABITS 

1. The Plastic Age. 

Childhood is said to be the plastic age, the period 
when the child—body, mind, and spirit—can be changed 
from day to day. An old saying that has had the ear 
of generations, and has been handed down as a self-evi¬ 
dent truth, is generally based upon sound experience and 
wisdom. “ You cannot teach an old dog new tricks ” is 
but a half-truth when applied to human beings; it never¬ 
theless carries a valuable lesson. A baby has been de¬ 
scribed as “ a bundle of possibilities.” It is true, how¬ 
ever, that there may come a time in the baby’s life 
when he has become “ a bundle of habits ”; and these 
habits may be so firmly fixed that there is small possibility 
of change. The time for the power of choice has gone; 
the plastic age has set in the adamant of mature life. 
Body, mind, and spirit have been moulded into a certain 
type by successive impressions and actions. Those who 
can control the child during his plastic years can mould 
his character, and largely determine the future of the 
adult. 

2. Physical Basis of Habit. 

Because of the physical basis of habit—because the in¬ 
coming nerve messages to the brain from the countless 
sensations reaching the body through the senses must 

110 


A Child’s Habits 


111 


leave their record in the brain tissue, and the outgoing 
messages to hands and feet, eyes and voice, leave their 
tiny pathways in the nervous system to be found and 
followed by later messages—because early in life there is 
formed in the brain a network of familiar paths that call 
for use at every opportunity, making it possible for the 
body to do more easily something it has done before—it is 
easy for the child to become a bundle of habits., 

3. Preparation of Mind for First Impressions. 

Early impressions are lasting impressions because they 
are apt to be vivid and clear-cut, owing to the receptive 
nature of the child, and because they form foundations 
for later experiences. If a child could exist with no care 
or training whatever, its hereditary tendencies and primal 
instincts would determine its reaction to each new brain- 
stimulus. There would be nothing to modify these ten¬ 
dencies and instincts save the experiences that would 
come as the result of action. 

If a mother would insure a desirable impression, and 
a correct reaction to a new brain-stimulus, it is vitally 
necessary for her to prepare the mind of the child for 
a new experience. When from eye, ear, touch, taste, or 
smell, a message is sent to the brain by the sensory nerves, 
there comes to a child an instant motor response. And 
this first response, through the motor nerves, leaves a 
microscopic pathway or impression in the brain and 
spinal cord. The next time this same, or a similar mes¬ 
sage, comes to the brain, it is very probable that the 
motor response will take the same path as before, and 
bring the same action that resulted the first time. 

Let us suppose the baby has never seen a kitten. The 



112 


Mothers’ Problems 


impulse of a young child is to pull a helpless animal to 
pieces, or squeeze it to death. There is no thought of 
cruelty in this, although the foundations of cruelty are 
often laid by allowing the untaught child to have pos¬ 
session of helpless animals. But suppose the mother in 
bringing the kitten to the little child guides its little hand 
over the soft fur. “ Pretty little pussy! See its bright 
eyes and its cunning little red tongue! Gently! gently! 
be careful! Don’t hurt the poor little kitten who is so 
helpless. Love the little pussy! ” The first impression 
has left the foundation for a habit of kind treatment of 
animals. 

One little chap loved flowers, and unfortunately there 
were none in his own yard, but next door there were some 
tall, beautiful ones, and some fascinating little ones grow¬ 
ing close to the fence. The mother knew that this was 
no time to try to explain the “ law of mine and thine,” 
and she knew that if she left him alone for one minute 
by that fence he certainly would pick his neighbor’s 
flowers; so she went to the neighbor and explained that 
she did not want her boy to do something he would feel 
guilty in doing if he touched the flowers after she told him 
he must not, and asked that she might buy all the blos¬ 
soms next the fence, so far as the little arm could reach, 
in order that the child could be free to pick them if he 
wanted to. The neighbor gladly consented, asking that 
she might be permitted to give the flowers; but the 
mother explained that she wanted to tell the child she 
had bought them for him, that he could touch them and 
love them and once in a while could pick one for his 
pleasure. She wanted to keep him from having the 
memory of taking something that did not belong to him. 



A Child’s Habits 


113 


Experiences such as this mean temptation and struggle 
for our little ones. They should be guarded and fore¬ 
warned. Five minutes of mother foresight may be worth 
ten years of unavailing effort to forget, or undo, the re¬ 
sults of one wrong action . 

4. Habits Easily Formed. 

The wise young mother resolves to make her child a 
creature of habits—sensible, health-giving, intelligent 
habits—before he is old enough to know what is hap¬ 
pening to him; before he is old enough to say “ I don’t 
want to,” or “ I won’t ”; before ke can grieve her heart 
by wilful disobedience. She will begin by establishing a 
routine for bathing and sleeping, for eating and exercise 
and out-of-door airings. With the thought of the future 
of the child ever before her, nothing will be allowed to 
interfere with this; and because a child is a child, and 
law is law, the little human being, under ordinary circum¬ 
stances, falls into regular habits without special effort. 
When the times for his meals come he is ready to eat, 
and when bedtime comes he is ready to sleep. 

(1) Habit of Industry. 

When active movements begin, the mother looks again 
into the future and thinks: “If my baby is like other 
babies, there are several years before it when physical 
activity will be its most marked characteristic. How 
can I make this serve the future of my child? I want 
him to be an industrious man, so I must not repress this 
activity; it must continue all his life. These aimless 
movements will soon begin to be conscious efforts to ac¬ 
complish something. I must train him to use his muscles 

H 



114 


Mothers 9 Problems 


with ease and skill, and so guide him that his power 
to think will develop. ,, 

She therefore teaches him to “ help ” with his dressing 
and bathing and in preparing his food. She puts a clear- 
cut thought into the little mind, and helps him to make 
his muscles obey that thought. With the vision of his 
future ever before her, she helps him to help himself. 

(2) Habit of Quick and Accurate Decision. 

As soon as the child can recognize a choice, the mother 
appeals to him to decide little things. “ I think it would 
be a fine thing to take a walk this lovely sunshiny day. 
Don’t you agree with me, Master Babe ? ” she will say, 
and baby agrees. “ Do you want to play with your 
blocks or dig in the sand-pile ? ” she will ask. “ Will you 
have brown bread or muffins for your breakfast ? ” Shall 
we take a drive this morning, or go to Uncle Frank’s? ” 
Influencing his choice, to be sure, but at the same time 
teaching him to choose, and giving him confidence in his 
own judgment. 

(3) Habit of Obedience. 

The mother finds that this habit of “ choosing ” has 
simplified the dreaded problem of obedience. Her neigh¬ 
bor complains that her child will not “ mind,” and says 
that everything the child is told not to do he immediately 
proceeds to do, and he is growing to be a disobedient 
child. 

“ Oh, but I don’t tell Harry not to do things if I can 
help it,” says our little mother. I say, * Let us choose to 
do this or choose to do that,’ and he is busy all the time 
doing; he doesn’t have time to disobey.” 



A Child's Habits 


115 


5. Rules Versus Habits. 

Happy the child who finds himself in a household where 
“ do ” and not “ don’t ” is the keyword of authority. 
Two young girls found themselves on the first day at 
boarding-school looking at a string of “ rules ” a yard 
long tacked to the door of their room. As they finished 
reading them, one said with a sigh, “ Doesn’t it make 
you feel like breaking every one of them at the very 
first chance ? ” 

“ It certainly does,” said her roommate. “ I should 
like to take that paper off the door and tear it up, but 
I suppose it wouldn’t do! ” 

That is the attitude of the normal child toward rules; 
he wants to abolish them, or to be privileged to ignore 
them. Habits, formed early in life before reason de¬ 
velops, may take the place of rules; and the child, be¬ 
cause he is a human being, takes kindly to established 
customs and precedents. He will do today what he did 
yesterday and the day before, cheerfully and without 
objection, simply because when he awoke to a conscious¬ 
ness of his own existence, he found himself a part of this 
regular routine of living. All the force of nature then 
aids in obedience of the law. Habits are more valuable 
than rules. 

6. Good Judgment Developed. 

A child must be taught as far as possible to do right 
because his judgment tells him this is best. If you don’t 
want your child to do the first naughty thing suggested 
by the first child he plays with, you must help to develop 
in him as good a judgment as he is capable of having at 



116 


Mothers 5 Problems 


his age, so that he will not yield to the first temptation 
that comes to him. 

Each failure leaves an impress upon his character. It 
is your privilege to so train him that he will not fail. 
Just to have him blindly obey when you say “ don’t ” or 
“ do ” day after day, may develop somewhat his ideas 
of right and wrong, expediency or convenience, but, if this 
habit of unquestioning submission to another’s will is in¬ 
sisted upon during childhood, the child will come to 
young manhood or womanhood an easy prey for anyone 
who has a stronger will, and can exert a dominating in¬ 
fluence. 

(1) Desire to Do Right. 

No matter how young or how lacking in understand¬ 
ing the child may be, the desire to obey and to do the 
right thing must be developed in him, or he will never 
develop any power to stand alone. He will be a spine¬ 
less slave. Parents have only themselves to blame if 
having kept a child in virtual slavery, in ignorant, 
thoughtless yielding to another’s will, they find them¬ 
selves some day face to face with a young being in whom 
have awakened some decided ideas of right and wrong, 
desire and preference, and yet in whom has not been 
developed through practice, a knowledge of how and why 
to choose, and how to stand by a right choice. There 
has developed in the child stubbornness, prejudice, anger, 
and a sense of injustice, and it is almost too late to recon¬ 
cile the differences between parents and child. All this 
could have been avoided by early training, looking toward 
the future independent existence of the child. The right 
way would have been the easier way. 



A Child’s Habits 


117 


(2) Arbitrary Commands. 

It is the exaction of obedience to arbitrary commands 
that is most often followed by open rebellion or secret 
disobedience; and it is the open rebellion of little children 
that is the despair of many mothers. It takes considerable 
determination and much nervous energy on the part of 
the mother to face vigorously some flagrant act of dis¬ 
obedience, to hunt down the cause, secure the cooperation 
of the child, settle upon the punishment if there is to be 
one, and start the child anew with the thought that 
tomorrow there must be obedience. 

7. Thought of Obedience. 

The closing thought of* every discussion following dis¬ 
obedience should be that of obedience—not of the wrong 
that has been done, not of the results, money loss, incon¬ 
venience, or what not, ndt of punishment or blame, but of 
obedience and greater effort to do the right thing next 
time. The child’s soul is fortified in this way; the bad 
influence of the failure upon the heart and brain is largely 
modified; and a barrier placed in the way of future yield¬ 
ing to temptation. 

8. Causes of Disobedience. 

Few children disobey for the mere pleasure of dis¬ 
obeying, or of being wilful. Back of each act of dis¬ 
obedience there may be a series of causes: a broken 
promise on mother’s or father’s part, a system of fast 
and loose government, alternate severity and indulgence, 
lack of regularity in the home life, bringing the child up 
with a short turn at some point where he has before been 



118 


Mothers 9 Problems 


indulged, arbitrary decisions unforeseen by the child, con¬ 
tinued lack of necessary pleasures in the child’s life. 

9. Nature of Child Must Be Considered. 

The wilful child must be treated differently from the 
mischievous one, the stubborn child from the capricious 
one, the shy child from the sullen one, or the greedy 
from the hungry. The appearance of the child is some¬ 
times deceptive; you must know what the child is think¬ 
ing, and you ought to know many of his thoughts and 
motives if you have watched and trained him as you 
should day by day. 

10. Child’s Self-Respect Preserved. 

The child’s confidence in himself must not be de¬ 
stroyed, or the child will be a weakling. He must not 
oppose his will to that of his parents or he may become 
vicious. Fortunately neither of these extremes results 
in the average home. The child’s wilfulness and self- 
assertion are modified by wise parents into compliance 
with just demands—he yields to superior wisdom, and yet 
keeps his own self-respect. 

11. Obedience to Right Must Be Enforced. 

The child wants pleasure, but of course few children 
can realize that present gratification may be bought with 
future discomfort and unhappiness. The parent with the 
foresight of experience can look into the future a lit¬ 
tle way, and must guard the child. It is sometimes 
possible to explain to the child why such and such a 
course is desirable, and why something must be denied. 
When the child can understand, and voluntarily seconds 



A Child’s Habits 


119 


the effort of the parent to have the right thing done, then 
it is easy to have obedience; but, if the child will not 
obey voluntarily, the parent is not released from his 
obligation to have the right course followed; if neces¬ 
sary, obedience must be enforced. 

12. Future of Child Must Be Regarded. 

Frequently the matter of obedience is not a vital one. 
If it is a mere matter of preference with the parent, while 
at the same time the child is violently opposed to it, it is 
seldom that any parent has the right to enforce obedi¬ 
ence. The child has a right to follow, within reason, 
expediency, and right, the biddings of his own nature. 
He will have years to live, probably, after his parents 
have left this earth, and is entitled to some choice as to 
the preparations he makes for his future. 

13. Child’s Symmetrical Development Considered. 

It is well for parents to understand that, when they 
bring children into the world, they start an independent 
and somewhat self-regulating life. Obedience is neces¬ 
sary during the early years when support and guidance 
must be given, and habits are being formed, but the child 
has always the right to a modified independent existence, 
while at the same time it has also the right to the counsel 
and guidance of its parents. The point is that no parent 
has the right to enforce obedience at the cost of the 
child’s symmetrical development. 

14. Power of Early Formed Habits. 

The boy who, when he first recognizes himself as a 
distinct individual member of his home circle, finds that 



120 


Mothers’ Problems 


because of his home training there are already established 
lines of travel in his brain and nervous system, rendering 
it more natural for him to be courteous than to be rude, 
easier to tell the truth than to attempt to deceive, who 
finds it natural to bathe and give the body the care it 
needs, to go to sleep early and easily, to eat regularly, 
and to seek food for his mind with the same regularity, 
memorizing, reading, and thinking; who is accustomed 
to thank his heavenly Father for blessings and care, and 
to seek companionship with him every day—this child is 
blessed; his battles are half won. His early instincts have 
been guarded and directed and modified into habits that 
will save years of time and effort for him, that will hold 
him firm and true in the midst of temptations that will 
have lessened power over him. He enters upon his life of 
conscious effort on a higher level than the less favored 
child, and should be able to accomplish more for his 
day and generation. 

15. Foresight Prevents Disaster. 

As the child nears the teens, the thoughtful mother 
realizes that the time is coming when a flood of new 
ideas of independence will surge through the soul of 
her meek little girl or boy of today. She knows the time 
will come when the likes and dislikes of some boy or girl- 
chum will have more weight with her loving little daugh¬ 
ter or son than will her own word. She knows that the 
time is near when the now docile mind of the child will 
almost withdraw its allegiance to home and mother, and 
will erect barriers of doubt and distrust between child¬ 
hood’s teachings and the new ideas of youth. She knows 
that after her boy and girl pass through the gates of 



A Child’s Habits 


121 


manhood and womanhood, they must be treated as young 
man and woman, or her influence with them will be at an 
end. It seems almost impossible to realize it; and so im¬ 
perceptible are the changes, from day to day, and so 
well do the young people unconsciously conceal their 
maturing thoughts and plans, that unless the mother looks 
into the months ahead, and seeing her grown-up son or 
daughter, adapts her teaching to that vision of the youth, 
while instructing her boy and girl of today, there will be 
disappointments, surprises, upheavals, disobediences, and 
estrangements in her home, as there have been in thou¬ 
sands of other homes. 

16. Preparing Child for Independence. 

The mother, therefore, prepares her child for indepen¬ 
dence by giving him responsibilities, and trusting numer¬ 
ous matters to his judgment. She welcomes his friends 
and makes them her friends also. She likes the things 
her children like, and cements a comradeship with them. 
She takes pains to explain away the slightest doubt of 
God’s wisdom or love. She siezes upon the faintest in¬ 
dication that shows the trend of her child’s thought, and 
prepares herself for comradeship in that direction. She 
knows that the primal instincts of the body will assert 
themselves in overwhelming force in the unprepared child, 
and she teaches her boy and girl the rest of the wonder¬ 
ful life-story she began with them when they were little 
children. She gives them an adequate idea of the marvel¬ 
ous beauty and power of the human body, and of their 
responsibilities to the race—to the generations back of 
them, and to their unborn children of the future. She 
does not rest until she sees them facing the future with 



122 


Mothers 9 Problems 


clear-eyed confidence, and with faith in God and parents. 
She has taught her child to obey law, she has strength¬ 
ened his will-power by the bonds of helpful life-long 
habits, and she has made his soul strong by putting his 
hand in the hand of his Creator. 

REVIEW AND DISCUSSION 

1. How may many good habits be established in the 
very young child’s life? 

2. How may the mind be prepared for first impressions 
that shall insure a correct motor response ? 

3. How may habits of industry and skill be formed? 

4. How may a child be trained to decide quickly and 
accurately ? 

5. How can children be kept out of mischief? 

6. How may a small child be helped to a habit of 
obedience ? 

7. How may early formed habits take the place of 
rules ? 

8. What may be some causes of disobedience? 

9. How may the child gain an independent impulse to 
do right? 

10. Under what circumstances should parents refrain 
from enforcing obedience to a specific command ? 

11. How may parents prepare for the independence of 
early adolescence that might bring disobedience? 

12. How far is the community responsible for the edu¬ 
cation of parents, that home conditions for school children 
and young working people may be improved? 

13. References: William James on “ Habit,” Chap. X; 
“ The Fire Builders,” Du Bois. 



CHAPTER X 

FOUNDATIONS OF CHARACTER 

As life unfolds day by day, and as months and years 
roll rapidly by, the results of early training begin to be 
apparent; the foundations upon which the child’s per¬ 
sonality are built are shown to be trustworthy or defective. 
What are the foundations of a fine character? What 
things are necessary to insure a full and rounded de¬ 
velopment ? 

1 . Physical Basis of Character. 

We have learned that we cannot ignore the physical 
basis of character; nay, more, we have found that we 
must take this into daily and hourly consideration. The 
child’s mental faculties, or his moral nature cannot be 
trained apart from the education of his body. More 
depends upon the condition of a child’s body than is 
generally realized. Every thought is dependent upon 
the use of brain cells, and results in changed brain tissue. 
Moral or spiritual development is hastened or retarded by 
physical conditions; hence we should give important place 
to intelligent care of the body. 

2. Early Routine. 

It has been shown that the early grounding in good 
habits, before school-age, by a rigid routine, carefully 
fitted to the changing needs of the child, results in the 

123 


124 


Mothers 9 Problems 


fixing of life-long habits and ineradicable tendencies, 
Sometimes a sturdy character is obscured and misrepre¬ 
sented by careless personal habits. This can be prevented 
by wise early training. 

3. Mental Training. 

The mind must be trained. This means more than 
simple acquisition of knowledge; it implies power to use 
well the knowledge possessed. The child is entitled to 
the best education his country can give him. 

4. Special Training. 

The ruling passion, the dominating idea of a child’s 
life, is sometimes fixed beyond power of change by in¬ 
heritance. In case this dominant idea is a legitimate one, 
one that can be rounded and modified and developed, so 
that the life will be a strong, courageous, helpful one, it 
is exceedingly unwise to attempt to thwart nature’s in¬ 
tention; better fall in with her purpose, and help make a 
strong character along the line indicated, even if your 
own plans must “ gang agley.” But if there seems to be 
no prominent trend, it is often wise to quietly supply 
training tending to skill in some particular direction, in¬ 
suring a thorough foundation for some one thing. Knowl¬ 
edge will never come amiss even if the child afterward 
decides to turn the main current of his life-thought and 
endeavor in some other direction. If he should follow 
your thought for him, an early grounding in the founda¬ 
tions of his work will prove invaluable. 

5. Control of Out-of-School Hours. 

There must be intelligent control of recreation hours, 
with the time properly divided between work and play. 



Foundations of Character 


125 


To keep children of all ages out of mischief they must be 
kept busy. It is a truism to say that development is 
continuous. Time never stops in its daily, hourly pas¬ 
sage, but parents do not always realize that each hour 
of every day must be provided for or the child will 
himself, however unwisely, make some provision for it. 
This neglected hour after school, or that vacation period 
uncared for, may mean never-to-be-atoned-for harm to 
the growing boy or girl. 

6. Spiritual Development. 

Moral and spiritual development are needed to pre¬ 
pare the individual for the work for which he was brought 
into the world; that of being, so far as he is able, a link 
of communication between his God and his neighbor. 
Nothing short of this can fulfil his obligations to his 
Creator and to his times. The child must be shown his 
true relation to his God, trained to do well that part of 
the world’s work for which he is best fitted, and helped 
to gain the position in which he can best serve his day 
and generation. 

7. Opportunity for Self-Expression. 

Of vital importance to the developing mind, body, and 
spirit, is the opportunity for freedom to grow, under 
loving and intelligent guidance. Under no other circum¬ 
stances can a child discover himself, test his latent ability 
or power, or have time and opportunity to follow some 
secret longing or inherited tendency. Happy the child 
who has, during his period of growth, a chance to find 
and stretch his wings! In no other way can he develop, 
from within, his own personality, build his own character; 



126 


Mothers 9 Problems 


for character, in spite of all the aid loving parents, teach¬ 
ers, and friends would fain bestow, must be largely the 
work of the individual himself. 

8. The Mother’s Part. 

*The first effort of the mother must be to establish mus¬ 
cular control. This implies some degree of brain develop¬ 
ment and some moral training. During this period the 
child and his ancestry must be studied for enlightenment 
as to what the child is, for upon this must be based all 
successful efforts to help him develop into all that it is 
possible for him to be. 

The mother realizes how important and difficult her 
work is, but she has her dream of a knightly man, or 
saintly woman, and she works away in the dark day after 
day under God’s guidance. She may not know the final 
result of her efforts until she meets her children in the 
world beyond, for character is of slow growth, and time 
is swift. Her best work is in putting into the child- 
heart resolve, control and courage, determination and 
endurance, the will to do, dare, and suffer; and these 
forces will work on through time into eternity. 

9. Character Building Begins in Heart of Child. 

Character is evolved from within. The most that the 
mother can do is to set her children at the work of build¬ 
ing their own characters and making their own destinies, 
for character determines destiny. The central force in 
this character building is therefore the child’s own will. 
The wise mother realizes that the will-power of her child 
must be guided, not repressed by compelling obedience to 
arbitrary commands. In some way the child must be led 




Foundations of Character 


127 


to choose his actions, being led to choose the right and 
educated to avoid the wrong or the inexpedient. 

10. Conscience Must Be Trained. 

This sense of the obligation to choose the right instead 
of the wrong we call conscience. Even a little child has 
a conscience before it has a clear idea of what is right or 
wrong. But this faint sense of obligation to do the right 
needs training; it must be strengthened and improved, 
and brought out into everyday living; it must be made to 
develop side by side with the knowledge of right and 
wrong. 

The child can be given a little Japanese monkey image— 
three monkeys joined, with hands over eyes, and ears, 
and mouth—to enforce the teaching to look upon no 
evil, listen to no evil, speak no evil. It takes courage to 
stand out against the ideas and opinions of others, to 
refuse to listen, and to resolutely turn away from for¬ 
bidden pleasures, but it is a courage that grows by what 
it feeds upon, and brings its rewards in strength of char¬ 
acter and devoted friends. 

11. Protection Against Evil. 

The only final protection against evil is to have a child's 
mind so full of sane truth and right ideas, that pictures 
and casual remarks, sights, sounds, or reading will not 
penetrate his armor of knowledge, common sense, moral¬ 
ity, and religion. His mind can be kept too full of good 
for evil to make any deep impression. 

12. Child Should Be Encouraged. 

A small child should not be troubled and confused by 
cries of “ naughty ” and “ bad ” at every trifling mis- 



128 


Mothers’ Problems 


take. Unless he has done wrong he should not be called 
“ bad.” Many a child has been made bad by being told 
he is bad. The child who loses confidence in himself loses 
hope and stops trying. He is without the experience or 
wisdom to enable him to look on all sides of a subject and 
when only one view is presented to him, and that view is 
a dark one, he becomes discouraged. The child with 
whom the mother is continually finding fault loses eventu¬ 
ally all individual sense of right and wrong; his con¬ 
science will pass into the possession of the fault-finder. 

13. Some Things Must Be Denied. 

There is a great difference, however, between crushing 
all individuality and childish enthusiasm in a child, and 
destroying his opportunities for growth in grace by fool¬ 
ish yielding to whim and caprice. Every loving mother 
wishes that she might bear all her child’s burdens and 
sacrifices, that he might be free and happy. She would 
like to grant his every wish, but at the very outset she 
finds she must deny and displease the child for his own 
sake, refusing to indulge him unwisely, in order that 
he may not form harmful habits that might take him 
years to overcome. 

14. Persistence. 

A child should be led to make decisions and then en¬ 
couraged to hold to these decisions. He should not waver 
and be uncertain. Better that a child should be too tena¬ 
cious of his own desires, than that he should be weak 
and wavering. The seemingly obstinate or stubborn child 
may be the one who will accomplish most in the future, 
for, if he is managed wisely, it may develop that he is 




Foundations of Character 


129 


simply persistent and doggedly determined to succeed in 
one thing. 

The attention of young children can be held to one sub¬ 
ject only a few minutes at a time, but a growing interest 
in one subject can be assured, by giving connected items 
of instruction day after day, and having some worth-while 
work on hand as the child grows older, to be resumed 
each day until something is accomplished, and a habit of 
patient continuance and perseverance formed. 

15. Truth, Kindness, and Thoroughness. 

Whatever else a child lacks, he must be truthful and 
kind. We cannot, by love or thought, give the child 
genius or talent, or even ordinary ability; he is born 
with a certain quality of brain, and there is no more sense 
in calling a boy “ stupid ” for not being able to master 
something for which he is by nature entirely unfitted, than 
in blaming his dog for not being able to play the violin. 
There are some things in which he may be trained to be 
efficient. 

Every normal child can be. taught to be kind and truth¬ 
ful ; and trained to be thorough in everything he tries to 
do. Kindness and truth are wrought into a child’s char¬ 
acter largely through suggestion and imitation. The child 
faithfully and unfailingly, sooner or later, reproduces 
the smile or the frown, the fleeting expression of the face, 
the tone, inflection, or word of ordinary conversation in 
the home, the falsehood, or the kind deed; and the whole 
life-tendency or ruling-passion may be determined by a 
picture over the dining-room mantel, or in the child’s 
room. So trivial seem some of the incidents in one’s life 
that may determine destiny. 




130 


Mothers’ Problems 


16. World Progress Because of Character. 

The most marvelous fact in this world is that millions 
on millions of men during all the ages, true to the spark 
of divinity within them, have been striving upward day 
by day. When one thinks of the countless homes and 
communities and cities all over the world where men, 
women, and children are quietly going their orderly way, 
working, studying, planning, each generation a step be¬ 
yond the one before, one wonders how these things can 
be. How is it that everywhere the great majority is 
striving for the best, the lasting good? We must con¬ 
clude that it is the great force of character in the mass 
of mankind that overcomes the evil and carries the races 
onward in their upward way. 

17. Character Developed by Difficulties. 

As each succeeding generation arrives, its elders and 
lovers think perhaps they can save the younger ones from 
some of the trials that fall to the lot of men. 

Parents warn and instruct their children, and try to 
lead them past the testing-places, but they invariably 
find that strength and endurance are born only when 
temper and courage and faith are tested by life’s experi¬ 
ences bravely met; that character is built of innumerable 
overcomings of obstacles, of patient continuance of 
fatiguing duties, of sunny recognition of the limitations 
of powers, capacities, and opportunities, and the accom¬ 
modating of self to the sphere that is so often quite unlike 
the early dreams, and yet seems to be forced upon the 
individual in spite of resolves and efforts to follow other 
j plans. 




Foundations of Character 


131 


18. Success a Relative Term. 

Success is altogether a relative term. If what we are to 
take out of this world is to be considered instead of what 
we leave in it, then many a successful life is ended when 
a fine character goes sweeping through the gates into a 
triumphant life beyond, though the earthly career seemed 
full of sorrow and disappointment. 

19. Character Our Life-Work. 

It would seem as though all the experiences of life must 
be looked upon as a means of building up the individual. 
All the work done, the good accomplished, God could 
bring to pass in a myriad of other ways, but he allows us, 
by striving and planning and working through the years, 
to build a character, strong, pure, clean, and true—our 
life-work—which we are to present to him. And great 
will be the reward. 

REVIEW AND DISCUSSION 

1. What is the physical basis of character? 

2. What is the value of a fixed routine in the early 
life of the child ? 

3. Why should there be intelligent control of the out-of¬ 
school hours of a child’s life ? 

4. Why is opportunity for self-expression of vital im¬ 
portance ? 

5. What is the central force in character building? 

6. What is conscience ? 

7. What harm is done by calling a child “ naughty ” 
or “ bad ” at every trifling mistake ? 



132 


Mothers 9 Problems 


8. Why must the mother deny some of the wishes of 
the small child? 

9. How may a habit of perseverance be developed in a 
child ? 

10. How are kindness and truth wrought into a child’s 
character ? 

11. What is a child’s final protection against yielding 
to evil suggestion ? 

12. How may disagreeable personal habits obscure a 
fine character ? 

13. How is character developed by difficulties and 
trials ? 

14. What is the life-work of each individual? 

15. What is character? 

16. References: “Man’s Value to Society,” Hillis, 
Chap. 2; Training of the Will in “ Study of Child 
Nature,” Harris, p. 136. 



BOOKS OF INTEREST TO 
MOTHERS 





















BOOKS OF INTEREST TO MOTHERS 


Some Silent Teachers, Harrison. 

As the Twig is Bent, Chenery. 

Letters to a Mother, Blow. 

Misunderstood Children, Harrison. 

How John and I Brought Up the Child, Grinnell. 
Home Occupations for Boys and Girls, Johnston. 
Religious Education in the Family, Cope. 

The Psychology of Child Development, Irving King. 
The Unfolding Life, Lamoreaux. 

The Pupil and the Teacher, Weigle. 

The Psychology of Childhood, Tracy. 

The Care and Feeding of Children, Holt. 

Short Talks with Young Mothers, Kerley. 

The Physical Nature of the Child and How to Study It, 
Rowe. 

Growth and Education, Tyler. 

Education by Plays and Games, Johnson. 

The Wayward Child, Schoff. 

Fundamentals of Child Study, Kirkpatrick. 

The Faults of Childhood and Youth, O’Shea. 

Child Nature and Child Training, Forbush. 

Training of the Devotional Life, Weigle and Tweedy. 

135 


136 


Mothers' Problems 


The Parent and the Child, Cope. 

On the Training of Parents, Abbott. 

Beckonings from Little Hands, DuBois. 
Fireside Child Study, DuBois. 

The Natural Way, DuBois. 

Sons and Daughters, Gruenberg. 

Child Nature and Child Nurture, St. John. 

The Children’s Reading, Olcott. 

The Corner-Stone of Education, Lyttelton. 
Childhood and Character, Hartshorne. 
Brothering the Boy, Raffety. 

Child Study and Child Training, Forbush. 
Making the Best of Our Children, Wood-Alien. 
When Mother Lets Us Help, Johnson. 

The Use of Money, Kirkpatrick. 

A Mother’s List of Books for Children, Arnold. 
Finger Posts to Children’s Reading, Field. 

The Dawn of Character, Mumford. 

At Mother’s Knee, Davis. 

Parents and Their Children, Moxcey. 
Parenthood and Race Culture, Saleeby. 

Being Well Born, Guyer. 

Character Training in Childhood, Haviland. 
Mothercraft Manual, Read. 

Story-Telling Lessons, Tralle. 


C 239 89*| 

















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